Dear Life...
Hello..this is my letter to Life, I guess it could have been addressed to a divine being, if you have a strong faith, I don't really, but I do respect those that do - whatever that faith might be. So bearing that in mind, here is my letter...
Dear Life,
I've been meaning to sit down and write to you for some time now, but I somehow always managed to either get distracted or feel too tired..but those feelings are part of you, aren't they ? Because as long as our attention is diverted, we don't have the time to really think about things. So maybe this letter is a surprise for you, that someone finally sat down and really talked to you because I have questions for you, things I need to say and I am hoping, if I say them to you, they might make some sense for me.
I think most people would ask, 'Life, why do you have to be so harsh so much of the time ?' So much suffering on such a global scale too. It's said, the basic survival needs are shelter, warmth, fresh water, food and oxygen - yet so many thousands are forced to live without most of these. Now it could be said, it's our fault, the responsibility lies with the human population..that's true..but Life, why did it have to be the most selfish, the most greedy and the most uncaring who became powerful ? Even quite recently, one world leader seemed to wilfully split families on the basis of little more than proving a point. In fairness, the legislation has now been withdrawn, but there are still parents who are desperately searching for their children, and there are children who were so young when this happened, they will never remember who they were meant to be, as they grow up in adoptive families, unless they are told.
On a slightly smaller scale, there is so much other kind of suffering, Life....despite all the research, there are so many illnesses which result in devastating consequences, can it really be true, Life ? That medications and even cures are being held back, so the drugs companies can make a fortune in selling medications that ease symptoms but won't actually eradicate the disease - even though that's possible ?? Why was that level of selfishness even a concept, Life ? Like many others, I have had to watch people I love, fade away before my eyes..people who had never really gone out to hurt anyone..why did they need to suffer so much, Life ? Where's the justice ? I keep hearing that when we die, we will pay for what we've done in life, be it good or bad, thus determining the quality of our eternal life. Quite honestly, Life, I can't imagine those who have suffered at the hands of others, find that idea especially comforting - as they watch the person who abused their child, walk free from prison after a couple of months..always assuming they are sent there at all ! I don't believe those parents will ever be able to think, 'oh well, they're around now enjoying Life, but when they finally die, they'll suffer.'
On a personal note, recently, I have been looking back across my own journey with you, Life...at the risk of sounding self-pitying, you haven't made much of it easy, have you ? It has felt, ( probably unjustly), that you haven't been too fair with me. I suppose it could be said, had all those things not happened, I would not have known I had such a level of resilience...all I will say in response is, I could have lived without knowing. Like millions of others, I live in the grip of mental health issues, which is like walking a tightrope between two huge dark, forbidding, bottomless pits...one slip and I fall, Life. It's hard on this tightrope and,strange as it might seem, that endless darkness can seem welcoming, when it feels as if you are too hard to carry any more. So many people live with demons, their struggle frequently becomes unbearable and they turn to drink or drugs, just to gain some respite....can you imagine what that's like, Life ? Finding every moment of every day almost too painful to get through. Despite what the judgemental people might think...those who,for example, say eating disorders wouldn't exist if the sufferers were just made to eat, or depressives just need to 'pull themselves together - mental health can feel physically painful and draining. Oh Life, precious as you undoubtedly are, so many would leave you if they had the courage, too many do when they have lost the will or strength to keep going - for some, it's only the thought of those they would leave behind that stops them.
Life, I know you're not all bad..there is potential within you, to achieve great things which benefit the world, to be a source of inspiration and to bring pleasure to so many of the population, through music, art, literature etc and those with the gift owe that to you, Life...even if they didn't start with an obvious talent, you gave them the dedication to hone their skills. You have also included those who see beyond themselves, who's aim is to help the most vulnerable..their compassion is discovered during their journey with you, Life...and it would be wrong of me to only talk about one side of the coin...as there is much to be admired about you. You can be be a source of love, that much overused term, but no less valid - even when some take the word in vain...but to experience the real thing ? Life, that truly is a blessing...both as a woman and as a mother. What it feels like when you wake up and see the face of your partner, that gentle swell of emotion is nothing less than breath-taking...equally when you watch your children grow, when you can easily recall so much of their young lives...that's beyond special, Life - as is time spent in the company of good friends, when you laugh until your sides hurt or hold each other through difficult times.
Perhaps that's the problem, Life, so many of us know how special you can be...that when, for whatever reason, the 'light' seems to be switched off, suddenly, you seem so harsh. It's often said, you have to be balanced, Life, for all the good, we have to experience the bad...I have to say, that's not how it feels. It actually seems as if, we have to pay a very high price for those great moments - we have to experience the pain of loss and worst still, the crippling effects of loneliness - whoever said, it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all...they were wrong, Life.
If I sound sad or angry or frustrated with you, Life...I am, I want very little from you and yet you seem to be hellbent on making even the smallest concessions. I don't want fame, or huge amounts of money...I don't desire power or be blessed with talent. I just want to be with the people I love, I can deal with being on that tightrope, if I can feel they will catch me when I fall....I just want to look after them and watch them achieve all the things, I know they can do....is that too much to ask of you, Life ? If you're being honest, you haven't played fair in the past...there's been a lot of pain, hard times and even recently, enforced separation and homelessness. Remember those basic survival needs, Life ? Those got taken away from me. Where's the balance now, Life ?
As we spend long nights together, you must see how often I am tempted to leave you, Life...too many people feel like me, we are pushed too far, or, at least, it feels that way. I don't believe you should be about those feelings because maybe we do only get one chance at having you. I completely accept, it's our responsibility to make the best of what we are given..it's too easy to blame you, in my defence, recently,my time with you feels as if it's being controlled by others with more power than I have...so perhaps if you could redress just that balance...you and I can find some happiness within you, Life, before it's too late.
Yours sincerely....
That's all I can think of to say, for now..so until the next time...
Take care out there xx
Dear Life,
I've been meaning to sit down and write to you for some time now, but I somehow always managed to either get distracted or feel too tired..but those feelings are part of you, aren't they ? Because as long as our attention is diverted, we don't have the time to really think about things. So maybe this letter is a surprise for you, that someone finally sat down and really talked to you because I have questions for you, things I need to say and I am hoping, if I say them to you, they might make some sense for me.
I think most people would ask, 'Life, why do you have to be so harsh so much of the time ?' So much suffering on such a global scale too. It's said, the basic survival needs are shelter, warmth, fresh water, food and oxygen - yet so many thousands are forced to live without most of these. Now it could be said, it's our fault, the responsibility lies with the human population..that's true..but Life, why did it have to be the most selfish, the most greedy and the most uncaring who became powerful ? Even quite recently, one world leader seemed to wilfully split families on the basis of little more than proving a point. In fairness, the legislation has now been withdrawn, but there are still parents who are desperately searching for their children, and there are children who were so young when this happened, they will never remember who they were meant to be, as they grow up in adoptive families, unless they are told.
On a slightly smaller scale, there is so much other kind of suffering, Life....despite all the research, there are so many illnesses which result in devastating consequences, can it really be true, Life ? That medications and even cures are being held back, so the drugs companies can make a fortune in selling medications that ease symptoms but won't actually eradicate the disease - even though that's possible ?? Why was that level of selfishness even a concept, Life ? Like many others, I have had to watch people I love, fade away before my eyes..people who had never really gone out to hurt anyone..why did they need to suffer so much, Life ? Where's the justice ? I keep hearing that when we die, we will pay for what we've done in life, be it good or bad, thus determining the quality of our eternal life. Quite honestly, Life, I can't imagine those who have suffered at the hands of others, find that idea especially comforting - as they watch the person who abused their child, walk free from prison after a couple of months..always assuming they are sent there at all ! I don't believe those parents will ever be able to think, 'oh well, they're around now enjoying Life, but when they finally die, they'll suffer.'
On a personal note, recently, I have been looking back across my own journey with you, Life...at the risk of sounding self-pitying, you haven't made much of it easy, have you ? It has felt, ( probably unjustly), that you haven't been too fair with me. I suppose it could be said, had all those things not happened, I would not have known I had such a level of resilience...all I will say in response is, I could have lived without knowing. Like millions of others, I live in the grip of mental health issues, which is like walking a tightrope between two huge dark, forbidding, bottomless pits...one slip and I fall, Life. It's hard on this tightrope and,strange as it might seem, that endless darkness can seem welcoming, when it feels as if you are too hard to carry any more. So many people live with demons, their struggle frequently becomes unbearable and they turn to drink or drugs, just to gain some respite....can you imagine what that's like, Life ? Finding every moment of every day almost too painful to get through. Despite what the judgemental people might think...those who,for example, say eating disorders wouldn't exist if the sufferers were just made to eat, or depressives just need to 'pull themselves together - mental health can feel physically painful and draining. Oh Life, precious as you undoubtedly are, so many would leave you if they had the courage, too many do when they have lost the will or strength to keep going - for some, it's only the thought of those they would leave behind that stops them.
Perhaps that's the problem, Life, so many of us know how special you can be...that when, for whatever reason, the 'light' seems to be switched off, suddenly, you seem so harsh. It's often said, you have to be balanced, Life, for all the good, we have to experience the bad...I have to say, that's not how it feels. It actually seems as if, we have to pay a very high price for those great moments - we have to experience the pain of loss and worst still, the crippling effects of loneliness - whoever said, it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all...they were wrong, Life.
If I sound sad or angry or frustrated with you, Life...I am, I want very little from you and yet you seem to be hellbent on making even the smallest concessions. I don't want fame, or huge amounts of money...I don't desire power or be blessed with talent. I just want to be with the people I love, I can deal with being on that tightrope, if I can feel they will catch me when I fall....I just want to look after them and watch them achieve all the things, I know they can do....is that too much to ask of you, Life ? If you're being honest, you haven't played fair in the past...there's been a lot of pain, hard times and even recently, enforced separation and homelessness. Remember those basic survival needs, Life ? Those got taken away from me. Where's the balance now, Life ?
As we spend long nights together, you must see how often I am tempted to leave you, Life...too many people feel like me, we are pushed too far, or, at least, it feels that way. I don't believe you should be about those feelings because maybe we do only get one chance at having you. I completely accept, it's our responsibility to make the best of what we are given..it's too easy to blame you, in my defence, recently,my time with you feels as if it's being controlled by others with more power than I have...so perhaps if you could redress just that balance...you and I can find some happiness within you, Life, before it's too late.
Yours sincerely....
That's all I can think of to say, for now..so until the next time...
Take care out there xx
