Taking that first step....
Hello everyone, I hope you're all well and Life is smiling on you..I know it can seem as if you are getting nowhere fast, but as long as you keep moving, things won't stay the same - unless, of course, you're one of those fortunate people who are happy exactly where you are, if that is you then the rest of us are hoping to join you in the very near future.
As you might already have guessed, I am taking a first step too - although to be truthful, this step is just another in a long old line of 'first steps', but despite my previous experience, this one is filled with all the same feelings of anticipation, excitement touched with a dash of panic. The questions fill my mind, what if this is a terrible idea? What if it all goes wrong? What if I end up failing? and, perhaps the most frequent, should I be doing this in light of all my other responsibilities? It's that last one which can very often kill off any thoughts of stepping at all !
I know, it was once said that no man ( or in fact woman) is an island, everything we do impacts on those around us, but it does seem very unfair, we have to end up sacrificing every dream or aspiration, because it might mean someone else has to have a little less of something from us. After all, we only have one life, (I am extremely respectful for those who believe in reincarnation and I sincerely hope you're proven to be right), but if we do only have one trip around the circuit, shouldn't we be allowed to make the most of the journey?
I don't believe I am the only one who has ever suggested something I would like to do, and someone has said 'what about me?' In other words, they try and make you feel as if you are somehow abandoning them and their wellbeing, to selfishly pursue your own goals. The real irony, is the people that say this kind of thing the most, are those who have absolutely no problem whatsoever, in doing what they want -whether or not it negatively impacts you !
And do you know the worst thing? I have often be made to feel guilty and stepped backwards instead of forwards, I have actually listened to their argument and found myself agreeing with them ! It really is true, the only person who really holds you back is yourself, I have allowed this to happen way too many times, and thankfully, I have woken up and seen, I have as much right to a full and happy life as anyone else. I am more than just a support system for others...I am tired of being the cheerleader instead of the star player in the team. (And yes, I know I sound like I'm ranting, I'm really not, I'm just tired of myself not making me a priority in my own life).
Now, I could understand objections if I had resolved to become something detrimental to society, after all, it would be hard to defend an intention to become a person who causes harm. But what these guilt-trippers are suggesting is damaging to those with dreams, with life aspirations - as they are saying, 'it's fine to have these thoughts as long as you don't act on them, or, if you must, you do it at a time when it's convenient to me.'
But, as I expect you've guessed by now, I am done being made to feel guilty, I am also done with being made to feel responsible for other peoples' lives, I have realised, (thankfully before it was too late), my responsibility is to make my own life as good as it can be. Before you ask, I do love those closest to me, I have freely given my time, love and patience to them and will continue to do so for the rest of my life, but I also have to give those same things to myself.
There is so much world out there, so many experiences to be had, so many fascinating people to meet - let us all encourage those around us to have as full lives as possible. I know I would never want to look back and think, it was because of me, someone didn't do everything they wanted to do because that would mean I had stolen a part of their life experience and for all my obvious flaws - I am no thief!
Well, my day is beginning, and today really does mark my first step..thank you all for coming on this journey with me and I am so happy, so many of you are going to continue to be travelling companions...you need to know, I am right there with each and every one of you too...until next time...as always..
Take care out there xx
As you might already have guessed, I am taking a first step too - although to be truthful, this step is just another in a long old line of 'first steps', but despite my previous experience, this one is filled with all the same feelings of anticipation, excitement touched with a dash of panic. The questions fill my mind, what if this is a terrible idea? What if it all goes wrong? What if I end up failing? and, perhaps the most frequent, should I be doing this in light of all my other responsibilities? It's that last one which can very often kill off any thoughts of stepping at all !
I know, it was once said that no man ( or in fact woman) is an island, everything we do impacts on those around us, but it does seem very unfair, we have to end up sacrificing every dream or aspiration, because it might mean someone else has to have a little less of something from us. After all, we only have one life, (I am extremely respectful for those who believe in reincarnation and I sincerely hope you're proven to be right), but if we do only have one trip around the circuit, shouldn't we be allowed to make the most of the journey?
I don't believe I am the only one who has ever suggested something I would like to do, and someone has said 'what about me?' In other words, they try and make you feel as if you are somehow abandoning them and their wellbeing, to selfishly pursue your own goals. The real irony, is the people that say this kind of thing the most, are those who have absolutely no problem whatsoever, in doing what they want -whether or not it negatively impacts you !
And do you know the worst thing? I have often be made to feel guilty and stepped backwards instead of forwards, I have actually listened to their argument and found myself agreeing with them ! It really is true, the only person who really holds you back is yourself, I have allowed this to happen way too many times, and thankfully, I have woken up and seen, I have as much right to a full and happy life as anyone else. I am more than just a support system for others...I am tired of being the cheerleader instead of the star player in the team. (And yes, I know I sound like I'm ranting, I'm really not, I'm just tired of myself not making me a priority in my own life).
Now, I could understand objections if I had resolved to become something detrimental to society, after all, it would be hard to defend an intention to become a person who causes harm. But what these guilt-trippers are suggesting is damaging to those with dreams, with life aspirations - as they are saying, 'it's fine to have these thoughts as long as you don't act on them, or, if you must, you do it at a time when it's convenient to me.'
But, as I expect you've guessed by now, I am done being made to feel guilty, I am also done with being made to feel responsible for other peoples' lives, I have realised, (thankfully before it was too late), my responsibility is to make my own life as good as it can be. Before you ask, I do love those closest to me, I have freely given my time, love and patience to them and will continue to do so for the rest of my life, but I also have to give those same things to myself.
There is so much world out there, so many experiences to be had, so many fascinating people to meet - let us all encourage those around us to have as full lives as possible. I know I would never want to look back and think, it was because of me, someone didn't do everything they wanted to do because that would mean I had stolen a part of their life experience and for all my obvious flaws - I am no thief!
Well, my day is beginning, and today really does mark my first step..thank you all for coming on this journey with me and I am so happy, so many of you are going to continue to be travelling companions...you need to know, I am right there with each and every one of you too...until next time...as always..
Take care out there xx
