Mixed Blessings
Well, before you say it, I know it's been too long since I have written to you but, in my defence, it has been quite a time recently and so it's only now, I can sit back and make sense of it all. I should warn you, this post might seem a bit of a ramble which frequently seems to wander off down a random tangent. I hope you stick with it though because I genuinely feel, much of what has been happening with me, will have you nodding as you think, "I know exactly what she's talking about." Anyway, without further delay, let's begin....
First, I have a question, have you ever had someone in your life that you thought you knew well, then suddenly, they show a side of themselves you can hardly believe exists ? This has happened to me too many times throughout my life, I've been completely sure I could predict how a person could behave and then they do something so random, it seems almost beyond belief. You find yourself asking, how you could have been so wrong ? And for such a long time too ? This very thing happened to me recently, and it is no exaggeration to say, it was as if scales fell from my eyes and I was seeing the person concerned for the very first time.
Now I completely understand, we all show different sides of ourselves to the world, depending on where we are - our close friends see more than perhaps work colleagues. I am not saying this is -in any way - deceptive, it's just certain situations warrant certain behaviour. But the person I am talking about has been a part of my life for some years, yet, at the time of writing, it feels as if I never really knew them at all. I was left feeling decidedly naïve, as clearly I had been so sure of my own opinion about them, I had failed to acknowledge their reality. I cannot say it didn't hurt to realise they had misled me, but, it would be less than honest of me, not to say, I was angry at myself too. I had thought I'd reached an age where it would be almost impossible to really be fooled - but perhaps this was a lesson in, never becoming so sure of yourself, you don't stop, think and really see what's often right in front of you.
While on the subject of people, another question, have you ever looked at someone else and been sure they 'have it all'? You can't fail to notice their lifestyle, the amount of wealth and success they have, and when you compare it to your own, there's a slight pang of either mild jealousy or anger, that you didn't get to have their life. You can't help but think, (especially when you're trudging off to work on a rainy morning), how much better it must be for them, when their biggest problem might be where to fly their private jet next ! But, much as I know it's a cliché, money does not necessarily guarantee happiness. It always saddens me when news breaks of a celebrity struggling with either a mental or physical health issue, and there's almost unrestrained joy from some of the reading public. I have also been troubled when comments are made such as, 'what have they got to be unhappy about? They have access to the best care so I don't feel any sympathy, after all, they don't care about me because I'm just ordinary." I think this attitude shows a real lack of any degree of empathy, after all, the size of someone's bank balance pales into insignificance when compared to wellbeing. What's the point of having vast wealth, if even the simple task of taking a walk results in crippling pain ? What use is that private jet, if you're so gripped with pure anxiety, you can't even make it out the front door? You see, I really don't think having a lavish lifestyle equates with 'having it all'. Yes, you'd have the material benefits, but you'd also have to be constantly wary of anyone who approaches you, you'd have those around you signing Non-Disclosure Agreements' to prevent your private life becoming public knowledge. For me, worst of all, you couldn't just go out on a whim, you'd have to arrange your security protection before you could make a move - not really a life to be envied. Aside from all of those points, to take any kind of pleasure knowing someone else is suffering seems- at the very least- distasteful. Surely time would be better spent, encouraging someone who is struggling, rather than gleefully enjoying their misfortune.
Talking of lives, mine is also on the brink of a change, after much internal debate, I have decided things really need to take some new turns, as the end of the year approaches and a fresh decade looms on the horizon. Now, I'm not talking about making New Year's resolutions, as, having thought about it, I'm not sure they necessarily come from a good place at all. How often do we decide we are going to diet, or go the gym more, maybe give something up which is apparently 'bad' for us...the list goes on, but if you think about it, if we make those kinds of promises, we are basically saying we need 'fixing.' We are looking in the mirror and instead of seeing the good points, we are focusing on only the negative - so not really the most positive way to start a New Year. Also we are, in a way, setting ourselves up to fail - by saying, from January 1st, I shall never eat chocolate again, only to find ourselves on January 3rd, munching away, feeling defeated by what we perceive as a lack of willpower, while trying to ignore the tiniest hint of a thrill because we are doing something we shouldn't be doing. Let's be honest, everything is always so much better when it's forbidden in some way ! Once the chocolate bar is consumed, we sigh and decide maybe we will give up chocolate next year - ( and yes, I am speaking from personal experience!) So instead of making a whole series of rash promises designed to somehow 'improve', I have decided to take steps now to change my life as a whole - which, in turn, will hopefully lead to a more positive self image. So, I won't look in that mirror and see everything which is 'wrong' but see more of a work in progress - I guess only time will tell.
Well, sadly, this is all I have time to write for now, the outside world is knocking furiously on my mental front door as a reminder it's time for my working day to begin. I hope you all have a good week and if you take nothing else away from this post, please do think about making those resolutions in a slightly different way. I can assure you, you don't need 'fixing', whatever shape your body might be, whether you can run a marathon or get exhausted after a trip to the shops - you are not 'broken' or somehow 'less' in any way at all. In truth, the only resolution any of us should make, is to show the same level of care and kindness to ourselves which we freely offer to those we love- on a daily basis. Anyway, until the next time....
Take care out there
First, I have a question, have you ever had someone in your life that you thought you knew well, then suddenly, they show a side of themselves you can hardly believe exists ? This has happened to me too many times throughout my life, I've been completely sure I could predict how a person could behave and then they do something so random, it seems almost beyond belief. You find yourself asking, how you could have been so wrong ? And for such a long time too ? This very thing happened to me recently, and it is no exaggeration to say, it was as if scales fell from my eyes and I was seeing the person concerned for the very first time.
While on the subject of people, another question, have you ever looked at someone else and been sure they 'have it all'? You can't fail to notice their lifestyle, the amount of wealth and success they have, and when you compare it to your own, there's a slight pang of either mild jealousy or anger, that you didn't get to have their life. You can't help but think, (especially when you're trudging off to work on a rainy morning), how much better it must be for them, when their biggest problem might be where to fly their private jet next ! But, much as I know it's a cliché, money does not necessarily guarantee happiness. It always saddens me when news breaks of a celebrity struggling with either a mental or physical health issue, and there's almost unrestrained joy from some of the reading public. I have also been troubled when comments are made such as, 'what have they got to be unhappy about? They have access to the best care so I don't feel any sympathy, after all, they don't care about me because I'm just ordinary." I think this attitude shows a real lack of any degree of empathy, after all, the size of someone's bank balance pales into insignificance when compared to wellbeing. What's the point of having vast wealth, if even the simple task of taking a walk results in crippling pain ? What use is that private jet, if you're so gripped with pure anxiety, you can't even make it out the front door? You see, I really don't think having a lavish lifestyle equates with 'having it all'. Yes, you'd have the material benefits, but you'd also have to be constantly wary of anyone who approaches you, you'd have those around you signing Non-Disclosure Agreements' to prevent your private life becoming public knowledge. For me, worst of all, you couldn't just go out on a whim, you'd have to arrange your security protection before you could make a move - not really a life to be envied. Aside from all of those points, to take any kind of pleasure knowing someone else is suffering seems- at the very least- distasteful. Surely time would be better spent, encouraging someone who is struggling, rather than gleefully enjoying their misfortune.
Talking of lives, mine is also on the brink of a change, after much internal debate, I have decided things really need to take some new turns, as the end of the year approaches and a fresh decade looms on the horizon. Now, I'm not talking about making New Year's resolutions, as, having thought about it, I'm not sure they necessarily come from a good place at all. How often do we decide we are going to diet, or go the gym more, maybe give something up which is apparently 'bad' for us...the list goes on, but if you think about it, if we make those kinds of promises, we are basically saying we need 'fixing.' We are looking in the mirror and instead of seeing the good points, we are focusing on only the negative - so not really the most positive way to start a New Year. Also we are, in a way, setting ourselves up to fail - by saying, from January 1st, I shall never eat chocolate again, only to find ourselves on January 3rd, munching away, feeling defeated by what we perceive as a lack of willpower, while trying to ignore the tiniest hint of a thrill because we are doing something we shouldn't be doing. Let's be honest, everything is always so much better when it's forbidden in some way ! Once the chocolate bar is consumed, we sigh and decide maybe we will give up chocolate next year - ( and yes, I am speaking from personal experience!) So instead of making a whole series of rash promises designed to somehow 'improve', I have decided to take steps now to change my life as a whole - which, in turn, will hopefully lead to a more positive self image. So, I won't look in that mirror and see everything which is 'wrong' but see more of a work in progress - I guess only time will tell.
Well, sadly, this is all I have time to write for now, the outside world is knocking furiously on my mental front door as a reminder it's time for my working day to begin. I hope you all have a good week and if you take nothing else away from this post, please do think about making those resolutions in a slightly different way. I can assure you, you don't need 'fixing', whatever shape your body might be, whether you can run a marathon or get exhausted after a trip to the shops - you are not 'broken' or somehow 'less' in any way at all. In truth, the only resolution any of us should make, is to show the same level of care and kindness to ourselves which we freely offer to those we love- on a daily basis. Anyway, until the next time....
Take care out there
