When #bekind should make us all think
Hello Everyone, I hope you're all well and all the recent upheavals in the weather have not affected you too badly, over here in the UK we are experiencing flooding and one terrible storm after another - I know many across the world are struggling too - so let's hope the onset of Spring makes a positive difference to us all. But my post today is not a global weather report, it was suggested by all the furore surrounding the tragic death of TV presenter Caroline Flack. Now, more than enough has been written about her, so other than passing on my sincere condolences to her family, I won't be saying any more. But the #bekind movement did get me thinking and so this is what I shall be talking about today, to put it simply, are we all 'kind', all the time?
Until recently, I would have described myself as a non-judgemental person, I have a history of vocally supporting groups which might have been considered a minority within society and I know-without question- I have no issue with anyone when it comes to their age, race, ethnicity, sexual preference etc etc. But, despite what I might have liked to believe, I am not always 'kind' about others - especially people I don't know and worst still, I am not the only one.Let me give you an example, now I have never been a fan of the singer Taylor Swift, in truth, when I have read 'news' articles about her, describing her as 'difficult', 'self-absorbed' and a 'diva', I've never really thought to dispute the validity of those opinions. When looking through Netflix recently, I saw, there was a documentary about the singer entitled 'Miss Americana' - now it took no more than a glimpse of the title, when I heard myself say, "Taylor Swift? Oh no, I can't stand her!" At first, this moment passed almost unnoticed until the following day, when I thought again and I have no qualms in admitting, I felt really ashamed. For someone who prides themselves on being non-judgemental, I had just done the complete opposite- after all, I don't have any personal experience with Taylor, we have never met yet, there I was, voicing my opinion about her character. Now, if I was looking out of my window and saw a strange woman walking by, would I decide I couldn't stand them? Of course not! But based on nothing more than the fact Taylor is famous, so has been the topic of thousands of media outlets, I felt it was perfectly acceptable to have an opinion about her. One last point, in the unlikely event she ever appeared at my front door, would I say it to her face? Again, of course not, so what right did I have to say it behind her back?
As this thought circulated around my mind, I saw countless more examples of people commenting on the lives of others, not always celebrities either - there were disparaging remarks about a woman who had posted about her weight loss, another who was campaigning for climate change, there were downright offensive comments about a man who had recently come out as gay- the list goes on. I can only assume there is a whole army of people out there, perched behind their PC, just working through social media for a target and then releasing all their own negativity on some unsuspecting person. Surely it cannot be these same people who are now promoting the #bekind movement ? Nobody could be that hypocritical, sadly, I have to report they can be...
Recently, in the UK, a huge music awards ceremony was held and amongst those performing was the singer, Harry Styles, who coincidentally, happened to have allegedly once been in a relationship with Caroline Flack. Now we would all hope, given they clearly knew each other ( in what way is not for me to say), it's likely he would have been very upset on hearing she had died. So in light of that knowledge, I wish I could report, everyone on social media was kind and supportive of him-but no, that army I mentioned earlier were out in force, making horrible comments about his fashion sense and extremely offensive remarks about the relationship he'd shared. The #bekind tag had barely started trending, when it was abandoned and it was business as usual - after all, I think the chances of anyone who was so horrible, being a close friend of Harry's is completely unlikely, so it was all being said by total strangers who had no personal knowledge of him at all.
If this move to be kinder to each other has any hope of making a lasting impression, it has to extend way beyond our own circle of friends and family. We have to be far more mindful of what we say and what we think otherwise, there is no way any significant change in society will occur. It has been argued, considering Taylor Swift would never know I had said anything unpleasant about her, my words somehow 'didn't count' - and it's that very belief we have to confront. It's not about the words, it's about the simple fact, I thought it was okay to say them and it's obviously not! Being kind has to become a state of mind, where we stop and think before we spread negativity - I'm not saying we all have to love everyone and everything they do, but we can take a moment to consider our words and the impact they have. For myself, I have decided, if I would not say it to their face, I won't be saying it at all - be they famous or someone who lives in the same street.
So, having had this epiphany, I sat down to watch 'Miss Americana' with an open mind and I have to admit, my previous opinion about Taylor was baseless. It turns out she is undoubtedly talented, she has social and political beliefs which,it was apparent, are genuine and is obviously an animal lover - hardly someone for me to say 'I couldn't stand.' It's true, I still can't put my hand on my heart and declare I love all her music, but speaking as someone who can only ever know her from a distance, she is a good person- all you need to do, is watch the opening few moments where she is playing the piano with her cat and you'll be forced to agree with that last statement.
I would love to believe there has been a worldwide wake-up call about being kinder to each other, however, sadly, there will always be some who gleefully attempt to tear anyone down, but they need to be the minority. When we have reached a point where individuals are driven to end their own lives because of endless bullying - especially online- that has to be the time when we take a long hard look at what our society has become. I know there are so many people who do amazing things, who are kind, loving and supportive-let them become the majority and through our own actions, we can join them.
So as always, I am sending good, positive thoughts to you all and, until next time....
Take care out there xxxx
Recently, in the UK, a huge music awards ceremony was held and amongst those performing was the singer, Harry Styles, who coincidentally, happened to have allegedly once been in a relationship with Caroline Flack. Now we would all hope, given they clearly knew each other ( in what way is not for me to say), it's likely he would have been very upset on hearing she had died. So in light of that knowledge, I wish I could report, everyone on social media was kind and supportive of him-but no, that army I mentioned earlier were out in force, making horrible comments about his fashion sense and extremely offensive remarks about the relationship he'd shared. The #bekind tag had barely started trending, when it was abandoned and it was business as usual - after all, I think the chances of anyone who was so horrible, being a close friend of Harry's is completely unlikely, so it was all being said by total strangers who had no personal knowledge of him at all.
If this move to be kinder to each other has any hope of making a lasting impression, it has to extend way beyond our own circle of friends and family. We have to be far more mindful of what we say and what we think otherwise, there is no way any significant change in society will occur. It has been argued, considering Taylor Swift would never know I had said anything unpleasant about her, my words somehow 'didn't count' - and it's that very belief we have to confront. It's not about the words, it's about the simple fact, I thought it was okay to say them and it's obviously not! Being kind has to become a state of mind, where we stop and think before we spread negativity - I'm not saying we all have to love everyone and everything they do, but we can take a moment to consider our words and the impact they have. For myself, I have decided, if I would not say it to their face, I won't be saying it at all - be they famous or someone who lives in the same street.
So, having had this epiphany, I sat down to watch 'Miss Americana' with an open mind and I have to admit, my previous opinion about Taylor was baseless. It turns out she is undoubtedly talented, she has social and political beliefs which,it was apparent, are genuine and is obviously an animal lover - hardly someone for me to say 'I couldn't stand.' It's true, I still can't put my hand on my heart and declare I love all her music, but speaking as someone who can only ever know her from a distance, she is a good person- all you need to do, is watch the opening few moments where she is playing the piano with her cat and you'll be forced to agree with that last statement.
So as always, I am sending good, positive thoughts to you all and, until next time....
Take care out there xxxx
