Almost There

Hi Everyone, as always I hope you're all doing really well and the sun is shining on you ! Before I begin, thank you so much for all the encouragement and good wishes for my new book, it means a great deal to me to have such wonderful support. So, with that said, what is today's subject ? Well, after over 400 days of lockdown, here in the UK, it feels as if we are FINALLY going to reach the end in June. I cannot even begin to express how relieved so many of us are, to know we will soon be, (hopefully) heading back to some kind of normal. 

If we go with the positive outlook for the UK, just starting to believe we are on the way out of lockdown has exposed all kinds of emotions. Some people cannot wait to be out and about again, even when the pubs and bars opened for outdoor seating only, queues of customers happily endured the rain, just so they could sit outside and drink with friends. Other people have started booking holidays abroad, although, speaking personally, this does seem a very risky business, when so much of the world is still hesitant about letting tourists back. So, there is a push from this part of the population to race towards the country opening up again. However, there is also a sizeable number of people who are genuinely anxious about setting foot into a crowd again. I have read many articles about those who dread having to attend social events, who have actually found the lockdown has given them the perfect excuse to stay home. I can understand both sides of the debate, speaking only for myself, being isolated has proved very tough for my mental health. Like many others with differing issues, not being able to see therapists, the lack of social interaction etc has proved to be extremely difficult. I have to say, social media has undoubtedly saved me-more than once- as just being able to see the rest of the world still being out there, has reminded me, life is going on and I will be able to participate again.

Interestingly, only recently, someone did question, if I ever felt jealous when I saw Facebook friends post about their various adventures. Fortunately, for me, jealousy has not really been a problem ( I already have a whole heap of other vices haha) but seriously, I know this entirely down to an incident in my childhood. As regular readers know, I was thrust into the heady world of stage school when I was very young and it was the words of a generally extremely strict teacher which set me on the path away from envy. At the time, I had just auditioned for a show and had not been chosen, yet a close friend of mine had been selected and was even given a lead role! Oh I am ashamed to say, I did not handle this well at all! I sulked and griped for a couple of days until my teacher hauled me into her office to discuss my bad attitude. As soon as she asked what was wrong, I launched into the classic 'it's not fair' routine, which she listened too until, after several minutes, she interrupted with a simple question,

"So you're jealous?"

When my sulky self did not reply, she continued,

"Do you think the other dancer deserves this chance? Are they talented?"

I didn't reply with words, it was more of a grudging grunt, to which she nodded her head thoughtfully before speaking again.

"So, we are agreed, they have worked hard and the fact they've been selected is entirely justified?"

I nodded slowly, she studied my face closely,

"Does the fact you're jealous have even the slightest impact on what's going to happen for them? Are they going to lose the part? Are they suddenly going to become less talented?"

I shook my head, now feeling decidedly uncomfortable about my previous whining but still holding on to a twinge of envy. The teacher sighed and then explained her thinking,

"Simply being jealous, never brings what you'd like to your door instead all you feel is horribly resentful which can ultimately damage friendships. For me, it's always been far better, to look at someone else's achievements, good fortune etc and see them as inspirational for your own life. In this example, if you work hard and keep auditioning, rather than dwell on all this negativity, your chance will come, do you see?"

I nodded again and I saw a slight smile cross her lips,

"Your life will be so much better, if you can genuinely applaud the success of others, be truthfully enthusiastic and interested in their triumphs, their joy and most importantly, their happiness. If you can do this, you'll not only be happier yourself because your life will be filled with great moments of your own, but you'll be a good friend to those around you."

She patted my hand and waited for me to reply,

"I understand what you're saying, to see what others have achieved, could make me want to do the same in my own life," I answered slowly.

She nodded enthusiastically,

"Exactly, and because of how you have encouraged and supported them in the past, they will be there for you."

She stood up and opened her office door, reminding me I had a class in five minutes, I was almost out of her office when a thought occurred to me,

"Have you never been jealous?" I asked, she smiled broadly,

"Oh yes, you're an amateur when it comes to whining, when I was your age I could sulk for weeks at a time! But then I realised the only person who was miserable was me, while everyone else was having all the fun and after a while, I saw the error of my ways and have never looked back."

I thanked her for her time and headed off to the class, firmly resolving to congratulate my friend for her success in the forthcoming show.

Anyway, I'm not quite sure how I ended up on that tangent, so back to my original point, after these 400 days of lockdown- even during the very lowest of depressive episodes- seeing the lives of those 'out there' has been nothing less than inspirational. I have now whole lists of places I want to visit, foods I want to try and to relive a multitude of experiences which have been denied for so long. I know the world is waiting and I am really looking forward to walking out the door and seeing it all again, we are 'almost there' and I sincerely hope, wherever you are as you read this, if you're either ahead of me or you're not too far behind, we will be together again soon...until next time...

Take care out there xxx