Whatever happened to #bekind?

 Hello Everyone, I hope you're all doing well and, even though I'm well aware, most of us are struggling in some way, if nothing else, it would be good to know that, for the most part, Life does seem manageable. As the title of this particular post suggests, I wanted to write about social media and how despite the well-documented tragedies caused by trolls, those negative and spiteful attitudes are alive and well.

A hope for us all that I hold dear

Having talked about this, I am saddened by the response that, to my dismay, has nearly always been a shrug followed by 'well, that's just how it is.' Then I hear the well-worn argument that if you post something on social media, you should be prepared for a torrent of negativity either about what you've mentioned or personal attacks about your appearance, weight, sexuality etc etc. I'm also reliably informed, that people routinely follow someone, for the sole purpose of being awful to them. So, grown adults are spending their time, walking around a virtual playground, shouting abuse? Is that really the best use of anyone's time? To sit and type expletive remarks to a person that they don't know? Or to threaten and try and intimidate them? And most of this being done by citizens that routinely boast about being 'civilised.' 

I truly despair that this is the example so many people are setting for their children, when they could be showing them how to treat others with kindness and respect. Obviously, nobody can like everyone, but I feel it would be more positive to say, when we don't like a person, we leave them alone. Now, I've also been told that it's 'okay' to be horrible to celebrities because 'they don't care anyway.' To which I have to reply, 'no, it's not!' They are human beings too, the fact they sing/dance/act does not suddenly make them impervious to being affected by relentless abuse from an army of trolls. It defies belief that, it's deemed -in any way- acceptable for female performers to routinely be threatened with rape and for the rest of the world to say, 'ah but they're famous, so that's just a part of the job and any way, they are unbelievably wealthy.' What difference does having money make? Are we saying once you earn over a specific amount, you become exempt from being treated properly?  Surely that's just another way of saying what female victims of assault have heard for decades, 'but she was asking for it!'

For all the advancements in technology, for it to be reduced to another way to bully and intimidate others, is genuinely disappointing and frustrating. When we could be building people up, to be encouraging and supportive, time is spent trying to demean and diminish those around us. Out of necessity, as a writer, I have to maintain a social media presence but, to be honest, it's not something I actively enjoy. I'm very fortunate to have personal accounts where I focus most of my energy, as they are locked and so everyone within that circle is a dear friend. Some are people I know in my 'real' life but there are those I've met online, and we've become close over the years. Throughout that time, we have supported each other, celebrated the highs and commiserated through the lows. More times than I can remember, those groups have been my safety net and I never take their presence in my life for granted.

But since I've moved onto more platforms and had more 'public' accounts, well, my eyes have been opened to the depths that some people can sink. Barely a day goes by when a mob mentality takes hold and hunts down anyone that they deem as being fair game. Whether it's a global figure or some ordinary person who made the mistake of innocently posting about an event in their life. One example was a mother who had taken her daughter to see Harry Styles in concert, there was a picture of this young teenage girl, clearly deliriously happy to be seeing her favourite singer perform live. Now, you might imagine the comments would all be talking about what a great time they must have had... but no, sadly they were not. Instead, there was a barrage of criticism! From those who thought Harry is somehow the devil incarnate and so taking a girl to see him was comparable to attending a sinister ceremony, others who felt it was a complete waste of money- my personal 'favourites' were those who, while using abusive language, felt it was their place to lecture the mother on 'values.'  Now, on seeing that post, would it have been so hard to either ignore it completely or have just typed the words 'I hope you had a great time'? It would seem, the answer is 'yes.'

I'm told, people are angry and so use social media to vent their frustration, and this allegedly makes it perfectly acceptable to turn that rage onto anyone-regardless of who they are or what they've done. Really? That's behaving in a civilised way? So, in the real world, if we are angry, we can just walk up to total strangers and abuse them? This is how we want to live? I would hope not.

Finally, it wasn't so long ago, that after the tragic suicide of UK television presenter, Caroline Flack, there was a movement that was called #bekind. The idea was to make people more mindful about what they said on social media which would have been a major step forward. Sadly, I think it's safe to say, it didn't last. Far too many people seem to relish being awful and the prospect of actually acting like a half-decent human being was just too much for them. Now, I'm not saying nobody should ever criticise anyone, but it can be done in a respectful way, coherent arguments put forward and opinions shared and debated. This is how civilised people should behave, not agreeing with each other is healthy and can lead to effective change but simply sitting and being foul to anyone who happens to cross your path, is nothing but detrimental to society.

Life is hard enough for most of us, financial worries, mental health issues etc, it would be good to be able to spend some time on a social media platform and not be faced with so much toxic negativity. Like many of you, I am genuinely thrilled to see those posts and comments that are upbeat and/or supportive as they do restore my belief that, there are still some out there who do want to be a positive influence on the world around them. So, let's all try, in any way possible, to be those people who can simply be happy for others or, if that's impossible for some reason, walk away without being unpleasant. That doesn't sound hard, does it? And if enough of us try, who knows? We could start to change the social media landscape.

Anyway, that's possibly more than enough from me, so as always, stay safe and until the next time...

Take care out there xxx