Competitive Spirit

 Hello Everyone, I hope you're all well and not uncomfortably hot in the Southern Hemisphere and not freezing up here in the North. Today's post has been prompted by several things I've witnessed in recent weeks, and I thought I might share a few observations with you. Now, before I begin, I want to say, I know we are all shocked and perhaps more than a little anxious about events happening around the world, when certain nations make the decision to bomb others, it does make me wonder why it seems negotiations are quickly abandoned in favour of showing military strength. We can only hope, someone sees sense and tries the path of diplomacy before any more innocent lives are lost. Just to make it clear, despite the title, this post is not about warring nations instead it is focused on everyday people.

For the vast majority of my life, I have been involved in professions that are seen to be incredibly competitive. Considering I now spend most of my time writing which, by definition, is a solitary activity, it might come as a surprise that it can be a world where, for some, the raw desire to succeed sails past even basic decency. Only recently, there was a case when an author had created countless accounts, with the sole purpose of giving the books, written by her perceived rivals, terrible ratings and reviews. Such was her determination to 'win' (who knows what?), that she was entirely focused on bringing everyone else down. Obviously, the fact I'm writing about her, tells you that she was caught and exposed, her books were subsequently removed from sale, her reputation is now in ruins. Was it worth it? I'd say not. All the time she spent, desperately trying to trample on others has resulted in nothing other than humiliation. As happens, she issued a grovelling apology, blaming everything but her own ruthless ambition, which, in my mind, was the sole cause.

In a similar vein, I am often asked why I review other writer's books, share their links on my own social media etc and my answer is always the same, I am not in any kind of race with them, so showing support does not immediately equal my 'losing' anything. If success depends on trashing other people, then I'm genuinely not interested in achieving it-it's that simple. I want the quality of my writing to be the focus, and should any plaudits come my way, I want to have earned them through my work.

Now, before you get the wrong idea, I do think being competitive in certain areas in life is a good thing, particularly with children. Teaching them to strive is always a valuable lesson, to work/train hard for something and to aim high. I am not a great fan of the idea that every child gets a trophy, so they aren't disappointed, for me this doesn't seem particularly fair at all. As it means, the child who has done nothing receives the same honour as the one who has worked hard, thus suggesting, whichever path is taken, the same result will be achieved. But what I would say, is there must be constant reminders that although winning is enjoyable, how you win is equally important, so the lessons of playing fair, not resorting to cheating etc need to be a part of the process too.

In my own life, there have been times when I have been targeted by others, those who have somehow reached the conclusion that I have achieved the success that they deserved and so are aggrieved. As an example, one person spent a morning giving every one of my books a two-star rating, even though, they hadn't actually read any of them. In another instance, it was discovered I had been offered an opportunity which again, they felt should have gone to them-even though they had expressed no previous interest in taking part. I'm not going to lie, this kind of behaviour is very frustrating but then, as a dear friend suggested, the fact anyone thinks I'm 'successful' so worth knocking down, is a weird kind of compliment. Just for the record, how success is judged is very subjective, so whether I am or not, is really up for debate.

If I were to sum up, I think all any of us can do, is focus on our own efforts, work as hard as we can and pay less attention to what others might be doing. It's too easy to spend too much time looking at someone else, when that time and effort would be better spent improving ourselves. I have always been acutely aware that there is always so much to learn, so it is with that mindset, I read other writers work because very often, I find myself marvelling at how they've captured a particular emotion or event. Obviously, I don't copy what they've done, but that's how so many new ideas of my own have been born, as an example, the way a story has been structured. I think one of the problems that comes with becoming almost blinded by your competitiveness, is it suggests a lack of faith and belief in your own work. It's as if, on some level, you feel you're not 'good' enough' and so that triggers the response to try and bring down others.

There is more than one way to 'win', as I've already said, mine is to challenge myself because it brings an inordinate amount of pleasure when I realise, there are definite signs of improvement. Adopting this way of thinking has meant I can be genuinely happy for other people when they succeed, because I don't see them as having 'beaten' me in any way, in fact, they inspire me to try even harder.

One last point, I genuinely believe that everyone has the potential to achieve a level of success, in whichever field they choose to focus their energies. After all, if someone in the world is doing what you want to do, that means it's possible for you too, so why not try? You have absolutely nothing to lose. 

Anyway, that's more than enough from me, but before I go, as always, thanks to all of you for the wonderful messages and support, until the next time..

Take very good care out there xxx