It really can feel like this is a man's world
Hello Everyone, I appreciate it's been a while since I wrote a post, I have been travelling and access to Wi-Fi has not always been the easiest to find. But as I'm home again, (at least for now), I felt it was definitely time to sit down and write to you all. Firstly, I'd like to thank everyone who has downloaded my poetry collection 'Where or When.' As this is a new venture for me, it's very gratifying to hear that you're enjoying the book, and I hope more of you will give it a try. As for the subject of this post, it really came from the travels I mentioned in the introduction.
Passing through a number of airports, I was made very aware - yet again- just how uncomfortable women are made to feel by a certain kind of man. More than once, a young woman would move to sit next to me, as a way of escaping the unwanted attentions of a persistent male. Regardless of age, ethnicity, language or culture, there is undoubtedly an unspoken bond between most women, when confronted by such unwelcome attention. Whether on a crowded train, an airport departure lounge, a bar or, in fact, any public space, we all immediately know what it means when a woman we have never met, suddenly earnestly engages us in conversation or feigns familiarity while anxiously glancing back towards a man. No explanations are necessary, we all just know the reason for this unexpected exchange and immediately play along with the pretence of being great friends.
Equally, when a rumour reaches us about a male co-worker who has persistently made sexual remarks, we quickly share the information, warning other women to be on their guard in his company. Now, this might seem very unfair, after all, he could just be trying to be 'funny', but the underlying unease that he has less 'entertaining' reasons for his behaviour, is impossible to ignore. I suppose it could be seen as a positive, that women do generally look out for each other and although that's true- it is also a sad reflection on the world, it's necessary.
Furthermore, when you try and raise the topic with men, very often they'll become defensive, arguing that they would never hurt a woman, which I'm sure is true for most. But then when you persist and ask if they've ever told one of their male friends to not make a lewd comment or force themselves onto an unsuspecting woman- the answer is invariably an awkward 'well, no.' To be honest, I don't entirely blame men for this lack of understanding, after all, they don't think twice about walking home late at night, never feel that grip of fear when they suddenly become aware of footsteps behind them. They easily brush off the deep discomfort of a man pressing up against them on a crowded train or the all-consuming panic when they find themselves surrounded by a drunken group who won't take no for answer. So, when a woman tries to explain how difficult it can be just to travel from A-B, the world that's being described is as alien to most men, as the surface of Mars.
Despite what I've said so far, I do believe 99% of men are decent people, I just wish more of them would be more proactive in censoring the behaviour of the other 1%. Not that I think women need their protection, but it would be nice to hear a male voice telling another man, to leave a woman alone who has shown absolutely no interest in him. In all my life, I have only every heard such an exchange once which is both sad and disappointing in equal measure.
Obviously, there have been a number of initiatives attempted to make the streets safer for women, but unless they are embraced by men as well, they are completely pointless. The irony is not lost, that most of those who are casually dismissive of the good intentions, are also husbands, sons, fathers, brothers etc. But it is only when something happens to a female within their own lives, suddenly they become extremely vocal in expressing their rage at the male perpetrator, demanding the justice system acts swiftly and decisively.
Women do, as the Chinese proverb says, 'hold up the other half of the sky,' and so should be able to move freely about the world, feeling safe and sure in the knowledge that they're surrounded by allies if it proves necessary. But this is not the case, instead we walk, gripping a bunch of keys to use as a weapon, often in the middle of the road to offer distance between us and anyone that wishes us harm. The female radar is never switched off, it constantly monitors any potential risks- not only for ourselves, but for other women too.
Finally, I think we are all aware of the attempts by some to erode even the most basic women's rights, body autonomy being just one example. Regardless of political beliefs, this pressure needs to be resisted, that 'other half of the sky' I mentioned earlier, is undeniably a vital component. The time when women lived as second-class citizens should be a part of history- not the present or future. As men can live without being harassed, threatened or abused- that same right should be available to women- it's what makes a civilised society, everyone being treated the same.
Anyway, that's more than enough from me, I hope you've found this post interesting and perhaps, for those male readers, it's given you food for thought...until the next time..
Take care out there xx
