What's 'Real' Anyway ?
Well, here we go again, my friends, I have finally made some sense of my day and so I can sit down and write a new post. Today's subject has been inspired by reading about how some people find characters in books, movies, tv etc so much more appealing than those they meet in their 'normal' lives. Some even go as far as having fictional boy/girl friends and, at first, I did wonder about the logic behind this kind of attraction, but after more thought, I can kind of see the appeal..let me explain..
As we all know, in life, we often fall for people who are completely 'wrong' for us, strangely - in my experience - just how wrong has been glaringly obvious to everyone but me ! So fixating on a literary figure does have its merits, after all, if you read the book carefully, you know all about them and even by the end, if they turn out to be worse than useless, all you have to do is close it, put it back on the shelf and never see him/her again. Obviously the other bonus, is you don't have to put up with all the less than appealing habits of your fictional partner, for example, you'll never have to listen to him snore his way through your favourite movie, cut his toenails on the sofa or allow various bodily sounds to be shamelessly audible. I mean, there is no part of 'Pride and Prejudice' when Darcy is suffering from the unpleasant side effects of last night's curry ! No, he drifts around moodily, perfectly groomed - even emerging from the lake looking almost edible.
I can certainly see the appeal of curling up in bed and enjoying hours of pleasure, lost in a fictional world where your hero/heroine does everything,(and more) you have ever dreamt of doing...I think especially when it comes to sexual activity. After all, how many of us would have been almost breathless with delight while reading 'Fifty Shades', if Christian had been slightly overweight, balding with perhaps a slight halitosis affliction and the only 'grey' part would have been the colour of his aged, saggy underwear !? I doubt there would have been many admirers at all, especially if after only a brief flogging 'Christian' complained of having a bad back and said he 'needed to sit down with a nice cup of tea.' No wonder EL James designed her version with more care.
But are the feelings people have for characters 'real'? I have to say, I think 'yes'. After all, as I said earlier, to allow your emotions free reign while absorbing every word, can only be a healthy thing. In my own book 'Hidden Within', there are scenes of a sexual nature and one of the nicest compliments I received, was from a lady saying she was so turned on, she couldn't wait to jump on her husband when he arrived home from work. I also think when we read or watch something which stimulates us, it does make us think again about what we enjoy or what we might like to try with a willing partner. It's almost as if, it happens in literature, it means it can happen in real life too..so it gives us hope that the tides of passion we feel when reading or watching movies, could perhaps happen in life. Obviously the flipside could be an overwhelming feeling of disappointment, when you feel your real life doesn't quite match up to the fictional one..but, in my experience, that is short-lived, as after all, there are other books and movies - all of whom might well transport you away again.
I don't think anyone can reasonably argue that life in the world today is far from easy, most of us have worries and can feel pretty overwhelmed. So if finding an escape from the trials and tribulations of every day existence, can give us a breathing space, then I say, 'Go for it !' I mean, you can almost 'cheat' on your partner without feeling even the slightest trace of guilt..as you eagerly race through the steamy scenes captured on the page of your latest book, you can allow yourself to 'let go' completely without even the merest hint of being caught. Actually, perhaps like in my own example, when your real partner does get home, you will be so ready for them - they will buy you the rest of the series immediately !
I suppose there could be a problem if you only truly experience genuine pleasure while imagining yourself with a fictional character, but all books, movies etc always have an ending, so eventually you would have to move on. Although the good news would be, that book/DVD would remain on the shelf, so you could always revisit the 'affair'.
But what of the tv series ? Some of these can have 13 or more episodes and if your man/woman is a central character, that's a lot of time you're going to invest in them. I have witnessed life coming to a total halt when the opening music starts to play, phones are switched off and even snack consumption is frowned upon as the 'crunching' noises serve only to be a distraction. World War 3 could break out and nothing can keep those eyes from being completely focused on the screen for the entire hour. Every week the same routine until the fateful day when the last episode is over, I am not exaggerating to say, there is almost a period of mourning. But once again, our good friend, the DVD saves the day and we get to watch the whole series again, while the cast hopefully embarks on the creation of series two.
So fictional boy/girl friends, wherever they feature, are a wonderful escape and have been for years..I don't doubt our ancestors were secretly loosening their corsets to enjoy the suave sexuality of Rhett Butler ('Gone with the Wind' by Margaret Mitchell) or the dark, tormented but gorgeous Mr Rochester (' Jane Eyre' by Charlotte Bronte).
Fantasy is a part of real life and unlike that Catwoman outfit you once bought with the misguided belief it would make you look sexy whereas in fact you looked like you'd been squeezed into an ill-fitting leather sock - our fictional lovers will never let us down, we can visit them time and time again and enjoy the same breathtaking experience...with that said..time for me to read myself..so until the next time...
Take care out there xx
As we all know, in life, we often fall for people who are completely 'wrong' for us, strangely - in my experience - just how wrong has been glaringly obvious to everyone but me ! So fixating on a literary figure does have its merits, after all, if you read the book carefully, you know all about them and even by the end, if they turn out to be worse than useless, all you have to do is close it, put it back on the shelf and never see him/her again. Obviously the other bonus, is you don't have to put up with all the less than appealing habits of your fictional partner, for example, you'll never have to listen to him snore his way through your favourite movie, cut his toenails on the sofa or allow various bodily sounds to be shamelessly audible. I mean, there is no part of 'Pride and Prejudice' when Darcy is suffering from the unpleasant side effects of last night's curry ! No, he drifts around moodily, perfectly groomed - even emerging from the lake looking almost edible.
I can certainly see the appeal of curling up in bed and enjoying hours of pleasure, lost in a fictional world where your hero/heroine does everything,(and more) you have ever dreamt of doing...I think especially when it comes to sexual activity. After all, how many of us would have been almost breathless with delight while reading 'Fifty Shades', if Christian had been slightly overweight, balding with perhaps a slight halitosis affliction and the only 'grey' part would have been the colour of his aged, saggy underwear !? I doubt there would have been many admirers at all, especially if after only a brief flogging 'Christian' complained of having a bad back and said he 'needed to sit down with a nice cup of tea.' No wonder EL James designed her version with more care.
But are the feelings people have for characters 'real'? I have to say, I think 'yes'. After all, as I said earlier, to allow your emotions free reign while absorbing every word, can only be a healthy thing. In my own book 'Hidden Within', there are scenes of a sexual nature and one of the nicest compliments I received, was from a lady saying she was so turned on, she couldn't wait to jump on her husband when he arrived home from work. I also think when we read or watch something which stimulates us, it does make us think again about what we enjoy or what we might like to try with a willing partner. It's almost as if, it happens in literature, it means it can happen in real life too..so it gives us hope that the tides of passion we feel when reading or watching movies, could perhaps happen in life. Obviously the flipside could be an overwhelming feeling of disappointment, when you feel your real life doesn't quite match up to the fictional one..but, in my experience, that is short-lived, as after all, there are other books and movies - all of whom might well transport you away again.
I don't think anyone can reasonably argue that life in the world today is far from easy, most of us have worries and can feel pretty overwhelmed. So if finding an escape from the trials and tribulations of every day existence, can give us a breathing space, then I say, 'Go for it !' I mean, you can almost 'cheat' on your partner without feeling even the slightest trace of guilt..as you eagerly race through the steamy scenes captured on the page of your latest book, you can allow yourself to 'let go' completely without even the merest hint of being caught. Actually, perhaps like in my own example, when your real partner does get home, you will be so ready for them - they will buy you the rest of the series immediately !
I suppose there could be a problem if you only truly experience genuine pleasure while imagining yourself with a fictional character, but all books, movies etc always have an ending, so eventually you would have to move on. Although the good news would be, that book/DVD would remain on the shelf, so you could always revisit the 'affair'.
But what of the tv series ? Some of these can have 13 or more episodes and if your man/woman is a central character, that's a lot of time you're going to invest in them. I have witnessed life coming to a total halt when the opening music starts to play, phones are switched off and even snack consumption is frowned upon as the 'crunching' noises serve only to be a distraction. World War 3 could break out and nothing can keep those eyes from being completely focused on the screen for the entire hour. Every week the same routine until the fateful day when the last episode is over, I am not exaggerating to say, there is almost a period of mourning. But once again, our good friend, the DVD saves the day and we get to watch the whole series again, while the cast hopefully embarks on the creation of series two.
So fictional boy/girl friends, wherever they feature, are a wonderful escape and have been for years..I don't doubt our ancestors were secretly loosening their corsets to enjoy the suave sexuality of Rhett Butler ('Gone with the Wind' by Margaret Mitchell) or the dark, tormented but gorgeous Mr Rochester (' Jane Eyre' by Charlotte Bronte).
Fantasy is a part of real life and unlike that Catwoman outfit you once bought with the misguided belief it would make you look sexy whereas in fact you looked like you'd been squeezed into an ill-fitting leather sock - our fictional lovers will never let us down, we can visit them time and time again and enjoy the same breathtaking experience...with that said..time for me to read myself..so until the next time...
Take care out there xx
