By definition...
Hello again and welcome to another post, and before I go on, Happy Fathers' Day to all Australian families, I hope you all have the best of times. Anyway, without further delay, let's get on with the topic of the day and, as you might have guessed, it's all about definitions..let me explain..
I have been watching the current debate regarding marriage equality in Australia and have been interested how many people have stated, love shouldn't have regulations and shouldn't be defined by the gender of the couple concerned - I agree with this whole-heartedly, however, it does raise the question of how we define ourselves. Some will state their career or educational backgrounds as their favourite' way of describing themselves to others, I'm guessing this is because, by saying you're a doctor, lawyer etc, the person concerned feels this shows they have achieved in some way. Now, obviously they have, after all, most professions take a considerable amount of time and study to gain the qualification - but should that be all that matters about them ? Could it be we regard having letters after a name or a professional title, is a device to show our 'worth' ? I do hope not. After all, many people have not taken those particular career paths and surely nobody would say they are any less important to society, as, after all, without cleaners, postal workers, clerical staff etc..most of life would come to a complete standstill and would be distinctly less sanitary too !
Another aspect of this career definition which genuinely saddens me, is the level of snobbery which seems to be an essential part of choosing a particular category. Not so long ago, while on social media, a friend of mine was asked what she did for a job and she replied she was a 'stay-at-home- mum', this was met by some - sadly mostly women - as admitting her life amounted to nothing. She was even informed she was clearly oppressed by her husband as otherwise she would be 'working' for living and 'making something of her life.' I have no shame in telling you, I was shocked by the response ! After all, as all parents know, it's a 24/7 job with few days off and generally terrible wages, but the rewards are second to none - to be instrumental in shaping the next generation has to be one of the most worthwhile 'jobs' there is in the world.
Aside from this kind of definition, there are some who use their religious affiliation, following the recent incident in Charlottesville, many who were interviewed described themselves as Christian, who were merely following God's teachings. As I have said before, I am not a religious person, but I do find it very hard to believe any kind of benevolent God would advocate chanting Nazi slogans while driving a car into a group of anti-racist protestors with a view to maiming if not killing people. I am also dismayed when people are described as a member of other faiths, as if the very fact they do not ally themselves with one God, means they are somehow less worthy or precious. A recent example was when a young girl was killed within terrorist bomb attack, sadly, there seemed to be way too much attention focused on the fact she came from a Muslim family, than on the total tragedy of the loss of her life. Are we supposed to believe Islamic families do not grieve for their lost children as much as any Christian or Jew or Hindu..or any other denomination ? Personally, I believe that's just not true - it shouldn't matter who or what someone believes in, what matters is we live in a safe society for all.
I do wonder if this apparent need to announce your particular definition makes people feel safe somehow..as if by publicly stating a certain part of your life, you are sure to be accepted by at least some of the population who identify themselves in the same way. Maybe some people find it hard to be just themselves, after all, it can be very intimidating to stand up and announce your identity without quite knowing what the response will be - but sometimes I wish we could find that courage.
I believe this is a part of defining our sexual orientation too and it's this aspect I do find especially troubling, particularly for young people. I have written before about the bewildering lists of 'definitions' available now, as an example, there are some who want a romantic relationship but with no physical aspect, others who only desire a same sex partner but may well have some kind of feelings for the other, there is a group who want to have sexual encounters with all genders and others who describe themselves as 'sapiosexual' who only want a physical relationship with someone who is deemed intelligent...as I said, the list goes on, so it's hardly surprising some young people struggle to identify with anyone ! How easy would it be to define yourself sexually when there are over 50 options ? But that's not my question..why the need to define yourself at all ? I have known many people who grew up 'straight' and yet their lives were thrown into emotional chaos when they found themselves attracted to someone of the same sex as them - why ? I think we can all agree, there's no choice about who we are drawn too, but by attempting to define ourselves as one thing or another, we set ourselves up to have problems - there are no rules in life, so it doesn't matter what label you put on yourself, when that person comes along, you will fall for them - so I say, be happy and don't waste precious time agonising about 'what does this make me now ?'
I guess what I am trying to say is, any kind of definition seems to equal a limitation and I don't believe - as long as it's within the law of the land- living within limits is a mark of a free society. But if we have to define ourselves, let it not be by who we find attractive, what job we might do or which religion we might follow - let it be by the drive to be better people in every sense. I was heartened while watching the recent floods in Houston, Texas - where all the population, regardless of race, colour, sexuality, age etc came together with the common aim to help each other through the effects of this natural disaster. I sincerely hope, it won't always take this kind of dramatic event for us all to stop looking for any definition beyond human being who shares the world with others..yes, a simplistic, maybe naïve view, but perhaps something to work towards...until the next time...
Take care out there xx
I have been watching the current debate regarding marriage equality in Australia and have been interested how many people have stated, love shouldn't have regulations and shouldn't be defined by the gender of the couple concerned - I agree with this whole-heartedly, however, it does raise the question of how we define ourselves. Some will state their career or educational backgrounds as their favourite' way of describing themselves to others, I'm guessing this is because, by saying you're a doctor, lawyer etc, the person concerned feels this shows they have achieved in some way. Now, obviously they have, after all, most professions take a considerable amount of time and study to gain the qualification - but should that be all that matters about them ? Could it be we regard having letters after a name or a professional title, is a device to show our 'worth' ? I do hope not. After all, many people have not taken those particular career paths and surely nobody would say they are any less important to society, as, after all, without cleaners, postal workers, clerical staff etc..most of life would come to a complete standstill and would be distinctly less sanitary too !
Another aspect of this career definition which genuinely saddens me, is the level of snobbery which seems to be an essential part of choosing a particular category. Not so long ago, while on social media, a friend of mine was asked what she did for a job and she replied she was a 'stay-at-home- mum', this was met by some - sadly mostly women - as admitting her life amounted to nothing. She was even informed she was clearly oppressed by her husband as otherwise she would be 'working' for living and 'making something of her life.' I have no shame in telling you, I was shocked by the response ! After all, as all parents know, it's a 24/7 job with few days off and generally terrible wages, but the rewards are second to none - to be instrumental in shaping the next generation has to be one of the most worthwhile 'jobs' there is in the world.
Aside from this kind of definition, there are some who use their religious affiliation, following the recent incident in Charlottesville, many who were interviewed described themselves as Christian, who were merely following God's teachings. As I have said before, I am not a religious person, but I do find it very hard to believe any kind of benevolent God would advocate chanting Nazi slogans while driving a car into a group of anti-racist protestors with a view to maiming if not killing people. I am also dismayed when people are described as a member of other faiths, as if the very fact they do not ally themselves with one God, means they are somehow less worthy or precious. A recent example was when a young girl was killed within terrorist bomb attack, sadly, there seemed to be way too much attention focused on the fact she came from a Muslim family, than on the total tragedy of the loss of her life. Are we supposed to believe Islamic families do not grieve for their lost children as much as any Christian or Jew or Hindu..or any other denomination ? Personally, I believe that's just not true - it shouldn't matter who or what someone believes in, what matters is we live in a safe society for all.
I do wonder if this apparent need to announce your particular definition makes people feel safe somehow..as if by publicly stating a certain part of your life, you are sure to be accepted by at least some of the population who identify themselves in the same way. Maybe some people find it hard to be just themselves, after all, it can be very intimidating to stand up and announce your identity without quite knowing what the response will be - but sometimes I wish we could find that courage.
I believe this is a part of defining our sexual orientation too and it's this aspect I do find especially troubling, particularly for young people. I have written before about the bewildering lists of 'definitions' available now, as an example, there are some who want a romantic relationship but with no physical aspect, others who only desire a same sex partner but may well have some kind of feelings for the other, there is a group who want to have sexual encounters with all genders and others who describe themselves as 'sapiosexual' who only want a physical relationship with someone who is deemed intelligent...as I said, the list goes on, so it's hardly surprising some young people struggle to identify with anyone ! How easy would it be to define yourself sexually when there are over 50 options ? But that's not my question..why the need to define yourself at all ? I have known many people who grew up 'straight' and yet their lives were thrown into emotional chaos when they found themselves attracted to someone of the same sex as them - why ? I think we can all agree, there's no choice about who we are drawn too, but by attempting to define ourselves as one thing or another, we set ourselves up to have problems - there are no rules in life, so it doesn't matter what label you put on yourself, when that person comes along, you will fall for them - so I say, be happy and don't waste precious time agonising about 'what does this make me now ?'
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| Just a few options.... |
I guess what I am trying to say is, any kind of definition seems to equal a limitation and I don't believe - as long as it's within the law of the land- living within limits is a mark of a free society. But if we have to define ourselves, let it not be by who we find attractive, what job we might do or which religion we might follow - let it be by the drive to be better people in every sense. I was heartened while watching the recent floods in Houston, Texas - where all the population, regardless of race, colour, sexuality, age etc came together with the common aim to help each other through the effects of this natural disaster. I sincerely hope, it won't always take this kind of dramatic event for us all to stop looking for any definition beyond human being who shares the world with others..yes, a simplistic, maybe naïve view, but perhaps something to work towards...until the next time...
Take care out there xx
