One Flu into the Kookaburra's Nest
As you may have guessed from the title of this post, I am currently down with a nasty bout of flu..and according to those who have seen me, I am not wearing it with even the slightest hint of glamorous suffering..I have all the symptoms and this is why I haven't been able to be here for the last few days. Yesterday, a kind friend heeded my call for anything medication-wise that might alleviate some of my symptoms, she took one look and said, ' My God, you look like s**t', before handing over all manner of goodies. Not only do I obviously appreciate her taking the time to help me but her honesty is undoubtedly one of her numerous qualities because, ( and this is where I get to the point), over the years, too many people say things which have left me wondering, 'Why would you even say that ?!' Whereas my beloved friend just said it like she saw it which frankly, makes her a bit of a rarity.
Let me explain..(oh and apologies in advance for any typos, everything is a little blurry)..
So, let me begin, I am sure, like me, you have had many times in your life have you told someone of some terrible experience, perhaps a bereavement, a serious illness or perhaps a sick pet and the only response you get is, "That must have been awful for you." Now bearing in mind the severity of the experience you're sharing with them, it's kind of obvious it was awful and yet, people still say that, why ? What do they expect you to answer ? "Oh no, it wasn't awful at all, when we lost Great Aunt Agatha/ my right leg gave in to gangrene/ Snuffles is hopping with fleas." I don't doubt there is some kind of 'rule' within polite society that it's better to say something than nothing, but I really doubt that to be true. Another example springs to mind, during the recent terrible hurricanes in the U.S, I found myself watching a news show,some poor reporter was hanging on to a tree, in 90 mile an hour winds, being lashed with rain, while debris flew past her in the background. As she panted and gasped her way through her report, one of the anchormen back in the TV studio, said, "Looks quite bad out there, Caroline." Oh how I wanted her to yell back, "You think ! What was the clue you stupid ***********" But she somehow maintained her professionalism and managed to finish her report without even the merest hint of malice or sarcasm.
But it's not just the harsher side of life that brings out the pointless comment, even children aren't safe from them ! Imagine yourself to be a young baby, you're warm, fed and now safely tucked up in your pram with your favoured cuddly toy and enjoying a leisurely stroll with mum/dad. Suddenly - out of nowhere- a huge face looms over you and in that weird voice which some adults use only when talking to the tiny, you hear, "Are you holding on to your teddy ? Who's a clever little girl/boy ?"Aside from the fact, as a small baby, you haven't quite mastered speech so you obviously couldn't answer a sensible question let alone a stupid one, if you could - by some miracle- form coherent sentences, what could you say as a response ? " Yes, I am holding on to Marmaduke because he is a trusted companion but does that make me clever ? I would have to say no as I , like all human babies, was born with the innate ability to grip, so with that said, may I wish you a good day, madam, as you're currently obstructing my planned excursion."
I wish that was all, but once you start thinking about it, more examples come to mind - you've been to the dentist, you've had extensive root canal work done and your face is now the size of an over-inflated basketball, as you struggle to take yet more pain killers, someone always says, "Did it hurt ?"
You've just bought a puppy, you post a whole bucketload of pictures on social media of your new pet and someone will invariably comment, " I'm more of a cat person." Why would you say that ? It has nothing to do with the purchased pooch....what is it within people that makes them say these things ?
As I lie here, perhaps it's a need to be seen as having opinions on things, maybe that's part of it, so they see something is happening and they start to mildly panic, "I need to say something otherwise I shall seem stupid/uncaring etc etc", when nothing obvious springs to mind, they reach into the mental drawer of meaningless phrases and platitudes and pull something out,
"That must have been awful."
"We've all been there."
"These things happen."
They speak, feeling relieved they've said something, completely oblivious to the fact, the recipient of their nonsense is thinking, " Why would you say that ?!"
Finally, one more example before I throw down some more meds, many years ago, a woman discovered her husband had been having an affair with her best friend, she confronted her and was told 'I always liked him, so it wasn't really my fault.' Now, you might think that would be as bad as it could get, but no...some months later, when the divorce proceedings were in full swing and the sheer level of the cheating had been exposed, the 'friend' got in touch with the woman and asked if they could meet up again. Perhaps out of curiosity, the woman agreed and once they were together, the 'friend' said,
"I can't believe he was with other women, I thought we had something special."
Unsurprisingly, the now ex-wife almost choked on her drink before somehow saying,
"How do you think I feel ? I was married to him and you were supposed to be my best friend yet it didn't stop you having sex on my kitchen table, did it ? "
The 'friend' thought for a moment, before answering,
"Well, no it didn't but I hoped we could still be friends."
Apparently the level of incredulity at this statement is impossible to describe, but when the ex-wife could speak again it was to say,
"Why would you even say that ?!"
So how to finish ? Well, I guess the message is simple and it's one I need to be very mindful about, try not to speak for the sole reason to hear your own voice, speak to share something worthwhile - be it wise or funny, intelligent or insightful...in other words, for a good reason...until the next time when hopefully, I shall be a bit more of any of the above...as always..
Take care out there xx
Let me explain..(oh and apologies in advance for any typos, everything is a little blurry)..
So, let me begin, I am sure, like me, you have had many times in your life have you told someone of some terrible experience, perhaps a bereavement, a serious illness or perhaps a sick pet and the only response you get is, "That must have been awful for you." Now bearing in mind the severity of the experience you're sharing with them, it's kind of obvious it was awful and yet, people still say that, why ? What do they expect you to answer ? "Oh no, it wasn't awful at all, when we lost Great Aunt Agatha/ my right leg gave in to gangrene/ Snuffles is hopping with fleas." I don't doubt there is some kind of 'rule' within polite society that it's better to say something than nothing, but I really doubt that to be true. Another example springs to mind, during the recent terrible hurricanes in the U.S, I found myself watching a news show,some poor reporter was hanging on to a tree, in 90 mile an hour winds, being lashed with rain, while debris flew past her in the background. As she panted and gasped her way through her report, one of the anchormen back in the TV studio, said, "Looks quite bad out there, Caroline." Oh how I wanted her to yell back, "You think ! What was the clue you stupid ***********" But she somehow maintained her professionalism and managed to finish her report without even the merest hint of malice or sarcasm.
But it's not just the harsher side of life that brings out the pointless comment, even children aren't safe from them ! Imagine yourself to be a young baby, you're warm, fed and now safely tucked up in your pram with your favoured cuddly toy and enjoying a leisurely stroll with mum/dad. Suddenly - out of nowhere- a huge face looms over you and in that weird voice which some adults use only when talking to the tiny, you hear, "Are you holding on to your teddy ? Who's a clever little girl/boy ?"Aside from the fact, as a small baby, you haven't quite mastered speech so you obviously couldn't answer a sensible question let alone a stupid one, if you could - by some miracle- form coherent sentences, what could you say as a response ? " Yes, I am holding on to Marmaduke because he is a trusted companion but does that make me clever ? I would have to say no as I , like all human babies, was born with the innate ability to grip, so with that said, may I wish you a good day, madam, as you're currently obstructing my planned excursion."
I wish that was all, but once you start thinking about it, more examples come to mind - you've been to the dentist, you've had extensive root canal work done and your face is now the size of an over-inflated basketball, as you struggle to take yet more pain killers, someone always says, "Did it hurt ?"
You've just bought a puppy, you post a whole bucketload of pictures on social media of your new pet and someone will invariably comment, " I'm more of a cat person." Why would you say that ? It has nothing to do with the purchased pooch....what is it within people that makes them say these things ?
As I lie here, perhaps it's a need to be seen as having opinions on things, maybe that's part of it, so they see something is happening and they start to mildly panic, "I need to say something otherwise I shall seem stupid/uncaring etc etc", when nothing obvious springs to mind, they reach into the mental drawer of meaningless phrases and platitudes and pull something out,
"That must have been awful."
"We've all been there."
"These things happen."
They speak, feeling relieved they've said something, completely oblivious to the fact, the recipient of their nonsense is thinking, " Why would you say that ?!"
Finally, one more example before I throw down some more meds, many years ago, a woman discovered her husband had been having an affair with her best friend, she confronted her and was told 'I always liked him, so it wasn't really my fault.' Now, you might think that would be as bad as it could get, but no...some months later, when the divorce proceedings were in full swing and the sheer level of the cheating had been exposed, the 'friend' got in touch with the woman and asked if they could meet up again. Perhaps out of curiosity, the woman agreed and once they were together, the 'friend' said,
"I can't believe he was with other women, I thought we had something special."
Unsurprisingly, the now ex-wife almost choked on her drink before somehow saying,
"How do you think I feel ? I was married to him and you were supposed to be my best friend yet it didn't stop you having sex on my kitchen table, did it ? "
The 'friend' thought for a moment, before answering,
"Well, no it didn't but I hoped we could still be friends."
Apparently the level of incredulity at this statement is impossible to describe, but when the ex-wife could speak again it was to say,
"Why would you even say that ?!"
So how to finish ? Well, I guess the message is simple and it's one I need to be very mindful about, try not to speak for the sole reason to hear your own voice, speak to share something worthwhile - be it wise or funny, intelligent or insightful...in other words, for a good reason...until the next time when hopefully, I shall be a bit more of any of the above...as always..
Take care out there xx
