What I see, what you see
Well, my friends, it's been quite a time recently, hasn't it ? Perhaps inevitably, President Trump seems to dominate the headlines so much of the time, ( as always, no political views will be expressed here about the rights and wrongs of his time in office). But other incidents have surfaced over recent weeks and its those which have caught my attention - for no other reason than how people can see the same thing and yet respond in wildly different ways. As I am sure you know, it is far from uncommon for witnesses to a crime being capable of recalling quite different events - it has also been proven, sometimes memories can be affected by a deep-seated bias. As an example, a hooded man was seen attempting to rob a store, his face and hands were completely covered and yet when the police questioned those present..several had no doubt in their minds, he was black. Further questioning revealed, some of those interviewees has strongly held beliefs that the black community was responsible for most of the area's crime...so, in fact, they saw a crime and were almost expecting the perpetrator to be black and so that's who they 'remembered.' As it turned out, you will not be surprised to hear, he turned out to be white.
So our memories cannot be entirely trusted, nothing staggering about that conclusion, but what has been interesting, is when a large group of people watch something, at the same time, and yet so many different viewpoints can be genuinely expressed. As an example, during the memorial service for Aretha Franklin, the singer Ariana Grande had been asked to perform one of her songs as a tribute. After the song, one of the officiating clergy, approached the singer and , at one point, appeared to be groping her. As you can imagine, the clip of the incident was played and replayed, while people studied the actions and reactions of the two people involved. As it happens, I put a post on Facebook, asking people to watch and see what they concluded...some were adamant the priest was behaving extremely inappropriately, whereas others were equally convinced, it was purely accidental and nothing untoward was happening at all. The debate became quite heated, it became apparent, my speculative post had hit her raw nerve, which was not my original intention. Some cited outrage at how an innocent man's actions were being interpreted, after all, they argued, Ariana Grande is not especially tall, so his hands could have been in the 'wrong' place because he simply misjudged her height. On the opposing side of the argument, there seemed no question, at the very least, he was far too 'hands on' with the young singer. Now I suppose, the only way it could ever be known for sure, would be to ask the priest...sadly, he opted to put out a rather limp apology which didn't help his own cause at all. Now, speaking personally, I found myself agreeing, he did behave in a way which wasn't especially respectful, either to Ariana or, in fact, to the service he was conducting. Now some time has passed since all the debate, I do wonder whether the conclusions drawn, were based on some personal experiences of those who spoke out with the most passion. I think there are few of us, who at some time, have not had to endure unwanted physical contact - far too often- sexually motivated. So when we watched the awkward encounter on television, were we seeing what was there or putting ourselves into the position Ariana found herself ? Having thought about it, I don't feel my view was influenced by incidents in my own life..but perhaps it was different for others.
As another example, recently two participants in a very popular British television show, were caught allegedly 'passionately kissing' outside a London bar - nothing very newsworthy there until it turned out, he was in a long term relationship and she was married to someone else. Photographs of the two were all over the newspapers, some declaring it was nothing more than a 'drunken kiss' while others expressed their disgust at the behaviour. I was especially interested in hearing my work colleagues discussing the story, as they are a wide variety of ages and backgrounds..so maybe all seeing it in a different way. Many expressed their sympathy for the respective partners of the two involved, but beyond that, opinions were divided between 'we've all done something stupid when we're drunk', to those who felt the pair should be unceremoniously kicked off the show. Perhaps predictably, one partner has already publicly split up with the man involved, as to the state of the marriage, well, only time will tell.
But again, this incident has been witnessed by many thousands of people and yet, even though we all see the same thing..we don't draw the same conclusions. I have to wonder, if we were called to be witnesses ..would we say only what we saw, or would we again, be influenced by our own life experiences and our opinions of the two people involved ? It makes you think more about how people come to verdicts when serving on a jury.
Anyway, time, as always, is marching on, so I will leave you to ponder these thoughts...as for me, I know I am going to try and be a bit more mindful about seeing an incident and forging an opinion on what actually happened, rather than allow myself to be influenced by my own beliefs...however unintentionally.
Well, that's more than enough from me..so until next time..as always...
Take care out there xx
So our memories cannot be entirely trusted, nothing staggering about that conclusion, but what has been interesting, is when a large group of people watch something, at the same time, and yet so many different viewpoints can be genuinely expressed. As an example, during the memorial service for Aretha Franklin, the singer Ariana Grande had been asked to perform one of her songs as a tribute. After the song, one of the officiating clergy, approached the singer and , at one point, appeared to be groping her. As you can imagine, the clip of the incident was played and replayed, while people studied the actions and reactions of the two people involved. As it happens, I put a post on Facebook, asking people to watch and see what they concluded...some were adamant the priest was behaving extremely inappropriately, whereas others were equally convinced, it was purely accidental and nothing untoward was happening at all. The debate became quite heated, it became apparent, my speculative post had hit her raw nerve, which was not my original intention. Some cited outrage at how an innocent man's actions were being interpreted, after all, they argued, Ariana Grande is not especially tall, so his hands could have been in the 'wrong' place because he simply misjudged her height. On the opposing side of the argument, there seemed no question, at the very least, he was far too 'hands on' with the young singer. Now I suppose, the only way it could ever be known for sure, would be to ask the priest...sadly, he opted to put out a rather limp apology which didn't help his own cause at all. Now, speaking personally, I found myself agreeing, he did behave in a way which wasn't especially respectful, either to Ariana or, in fact, to the service he was conducting. Now some time has passed since all the debate, I do wonder whether the conclusions drawn, were based on some personal experiences of those who spoke out with the most passion. I think there are few of us, who at some time, have not had to endure unwanted physical contact - far too often- sexually motivated. So when we watched the awkward encounter on television, were we seeing what was there or putting ourselves into the position Ariana found herself ? Having thought about it, I don't feel my view was influenced by incidents in my own life..but perhaps it was different for others.
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| Attention was drawn to the positioning of the priest's hand |
As another example, recently two participants in a very popular British television show, were caught allegedly 'passionately kissing' outside a London bar - nothing very newsworthy there until it turned out, he was in a long term relationship and she was married to someone else. Photographs of the two were all over the newspapers, some declaring it was nothing more than a 'drunken kiss' while others expressed their disgust at the behaviour. I was especially interested in hearing my work colleagues discussing the story, as they are a wide variety of ages and backgrounds..so maybe all seeing it in a different way. Many expressed their sympathy for the respective partners of the two involved, but beyond that, opinions were divided between 'we've all done something stupid when we're drunk', to those who felt the pair should be unceremoniously kicked off the show. Perhaps predictably, one partner has already publicly split up with the man involved, as to the state of the marriage, well, only time will tell.
Anyway, time, as always, is marching on, so I will leave you to ponder these thoughts...as for me, I know I am going to try and be a bit more mindful about seeing an incident and forging an opinion on what actually happened, rather than allow myself to be influenced by my own beliefs...however unintentionally.
Well, that's more than enough from me..so until next time..as always...
Take care out there xx
