Being Heard
Well, my friends, as always, I have to apologise for my enforced absence from being here, I've been working longer hours, there's been the usual round of family dramas, the Easter Bunny made an appearance and now it takes an act of will to button anything up ( too much chocolate consumption!) - but most of all (takes deep breath) I've been busy with my new novel 'The Last Day' ! It's now a paperback and on Amazon, so exciting, if breathless times over here chez Turner !
The strange thing with this particular book, it seems it's going to possibly bring me a little more public attention, which, in turn, means people who had absolutely no idea at all, I write, are soon going to find out. For me, as really a private person, facing this reality brings a whole mix of emotions. On the one hand, it will be gratifying to be perceived as more than someone who sometimes struggles with the essential paperwork my job requires, but on the other, it does concern me to be in the 'spotlight.'
I never started writing to achieve any kind of 'fame', in fact, the very idea fills me with a degree of horror, after all, despite the enormous wealth it can bring, you do have to pay a very high price for the level of intrusion. So I write, really, because it helps me make sense of things - some have happened in my own life, others to those closest to me and a few which are completely imaginary scenarios, but through the story I'm writing, I am forced to come to my own conclusions on a whole range of issues. Now, I am well aware this sounds unbelievably selfish, but thankfully, I can disagree - since the release of my first book, I have been contacted by readers who have told me of their own experiences and also how they found some positive emotion through my books. Perhaps this has been particularly evident with 'Hidden Within', as it tells the story of a woman who is 'lost' in many ways and how through a series of events, she finds herself again. I am hoping, the story of 'The Last Day' will have a similar effect - only time will tell.
Anyway, so it seems, people around me, especially those I work with on a daily basis, are going to know more about me and perhaps see their colleague in a different way. Do I want that ? I don't know and that's the plain and simple truth. Obviously my family and close friends have always known about my life away from work, they've been the reason I have kept writing when I've decided it was time to just give up ! They love and encourage me every step of the way and are generous enough to say, I have inspired them to have the courage to do what makes them happy too ! After all, we all only have one life so we may as well make the very best of each day. I was told, you only regret the things you don't do, (although to be brutally honest, when I look back, there are several things I wish I hadn't especially when under the influence of tequila!)
So as I've been thinking about this, it has occurred to me, maybe part of the reason I write, is to be heard, to have a voice - even if it is through the characters in a book. Now I did not have a tragic childhood, but I did grow up being told - and so believing - I wasn't especially bright, in fact, my alleged strength, was having a 'pretty face.' As you can imagine, I found this incredibly frustrating, especially as I got older, when my opinions were dismissed as little more than 'charming' before being told to return to my forte which seemed to be 'standing and smiling.' Several jobs I had, were really little more than doing those two things, as I look back, I can see, I didn't really believe I could do any better. But then, I had children and my self perception changed completely, I realised - for the first time- I was a capable, strong woman who could handle responsibility and, finally, had a voice.
I do wonder, despite my new found positivity, if I am still slightly wary of sharing my own voice with the world, so perhaps it's easier to write..although the long hours of trying to create something both believable and entertaining is a long way from easy at times !
Anyway, I hope you have a voice and you share it, be it through a craft, music or any other way which brings something positive not only for you but for those who hear it...there seems to be a lot of disharmony in the world, anger, hurt, disappointment and downright outrage...so if we can all find our voices we can try and drown at least some of those negatives out of life..and none of us would look back in years to come with regret, would we ?
Anyway, time for me to get ready and go to work, possibly to come back in 8 hours time, feeling either wildly positive or ready to hide in the nearest cave..so keep your fingers crossed for me, it's the first option...as I always wish only the best for all of you..right time to fly so...
Until the next time...as always...
Take care out there xxxx
The strange thing with this particular book, it seems it's going to possibly bring me a little more public attention, which, in turn, means people who had absolutely no idea at all, I write, are soon going to find out. For me, as really a private person, facing this reality brings a whole mix of emotions. On the one hand, it will be gratifying to be perceived as more than someone who sometimes struggles with the essential paperwork my job requires, but on the other, it does concern me to be in the 'spotlight.'
I never started writing to achieve any kind of 'fame', in fact, the very idea fills me with a degree of horror, after all, despite the enormous wealth it can bring, you do have to pay a very high price for the level of intrusion. So I write, really, because it helps me make sense of things - some have happened in my own life, others to those closest to me and a few which are completely imaginary scenarios, but through the story I'm writing, I am forced to come to my own conclusions on a whole range of issues. Now, I am well aware this sounds unbelievably selfish, but thankfully, I can disagree - since the release of my first book, I have been contacted by readers who have told me of their own experiences and also how they found some positive emotion through my books. Perhaps this has been particularly evident with 'Hidden Within', as it tells the story of a woman who is 'lost' in many ways and how through a series of events, she finds herself again. I am hoping, the story of 'The Last Day' will have a similar effect - only time will tell.
Anyway, so it seems, people around me, especially those I work with on a daily basis, are going to know more about me and perhaps see their colleague in a different way. Do I want that ? I don't know and that's the plain and simple truth. Obviously my family and close friends have always known about my life away from work, they've been the reason I have kept writing when I've decided it was time to just give up ! They love and encourage me every step of the way and are generous enough to say, I have inspired them to have the courage to do what makes them happy too ! After all, we all only have one life so we may as well make the very best of each day. I was told, you only regret the things you don't do, (although to be brutally honest, when I look back, there are several things I wish I hadn't especially when under the influence of tequila!)
So as I've been thinking about this, it has occurred to me, maybe part of the reason I write, is to be heard, to have a voice - even if it is through the characters in a book. Now I did not have a tragic childhood, but I did grow up being told - and so believing - I wasn't especially bright, in fact, my alleged strength, was having a 'pretty face.' As you can imagine, I found this incredibly frustrating, especially as I got older, when my opinions were dismissed as little more than 'charming' before being told to return to my forte which seemed to be 'standing and smiling.' Several jobs I had, were really little more than doing those two things, as I look back, I can see, I didn't really believe I could do any better. But then, I had children and my self perception changed completely, I realised - for the first time- I was a capable, strong woman who could handle responsibility and, finally, had a voice.
I do wonder, despite my new found positivity, if I am still slightly wary of sharing my own voice with the world, so perhaps it's easier to write..although the long hours of trying to create something both believable and entertaining is a long way from easy at times !
Anyway, I hope you have a voice and you share it, be it through a craft, music or any other way which brings something positive not only for you but for those who hear it...there seems to be a lot of disharmony in the world, anger, hurt, disappointment and downright outrage...so if we can all find our voices we can try and drown at least some of those negatives out of life..and none of us would look back in years to come with regret, would we ?
Anyway, time for me to get ready and go to work, possibly to come back in 8 hours time, feeling either wildly positive or ready to hide in the nearest cave..so keep your fingers crossed for me, it's the first option...as I always wish only the best for all of you..right time to fly so...
Until the next time...as always...
Take care out there xxxx
