Taking Time Out
Well, my friends, it's Friday already, this week seems to have flown by ! I hope everyone is well, especially those near Ridgecrest, California where the recent earthquake occurred. Having lived predominantly in Europe for most of my life, I have no personal experience of this kind of natural event, I can only imagine it must be very frightening. I am sure we all wish life can return to as normal as possible and our good wishes go to everyone affected.
Having said all that, it does make writing a blog post seem a little trivial, but as the purpose is to share thoughts, I may as well get on with what's been happening in my tiny piece of the world. At the end of last week, we had my daughter's 21st birthday celebration and, as often happens, alongside the traditional hoopla, there was time for quieter moments. For a number of reasons which are far too long to explain fully, we ended up going back to where I spent a lot of my life, especially the part involving being a mother. As you will see from the pictures, we went to some truly beautiful places and as I sat there, so many memories came flooding back. I could almost see my daughters as little girls, running around the trees, feeding the wild birds and just enjoying being in such a magical place. Life did seem a lot simpler then, I think that's true of all parents, when you see the world through your child's eyes - it can make even the most common sight, something filled with wonder.
I was also reminded of my extended family, especially those who some might say 'aren't around any more' - I would fervently disagree with that thought, I feel their presence every day and I am so grateful I can. I do know, some of you will be shaking your heads while thinking I am delusional, that when someone dies, that's the end of them - well, I respect your belief, as I would hope you would mine. Walking by the lake, through the trees, I knew those special people were right there with me, just as they had been, all those years ago.
As I sat in the sunshine, I allowed my mind to wander back to when I was that young mother, what would she think of me now ? If she had known what the future would hold, would she be proud of how 'we' had handled everything? Had I changed so much from how she had been? I have to admit, these were not easy questions to contemplate, but sometimes I think it's healthy to take stock of where you've come from and how it will effect where you go next. So to begin, I'm not sure the 'young me' would be overly-impressed with some of the things that have happened, mistakes have been made with far-reaching consequences, I have hurt people who deserved better from me. Sadly, it's too late, in some cases, to apologise and make amends, but I would hope she would appreciate, I do acknowledge my failings and try hard not to repeat those same errors. Moving on to the second question, I think she would be proud, after all, like most people, life has not always been easy and yet, here I am, still pushing forward - so if tenacity is a virtue then she would be happy. Finally, have I changed ? I would love to say with age has come great wisdom, but sadly, that wouldn't be true - at least, not all the time ! On the plus side, I do feel I am more responsible now, I don't act quite as impulsively as I once did, I consider consequences far more carefully and I love as fiercely as ever. On the negative side, well, there are still way too many times, when I allow people to cross boundaries on how I should be treated - I forgive too easily, accept excuses too readily and, as a result, don't always say what I should. I feel this is a part of me, this need to avoid confrontation and to put my own feelings in second place - or even lower down the scale. I think my younger self would undoubtedly roll her eyes while wishing this was a lesson finally learned.So what conclusion did I come too ? Well, like us all, (unless you have supreme self-confidence), I am a work in progress, but hopefully, heading in the right direction.
Beyond all the self-analysis, I was reminded of one important thing, as I sat there, just how vital it is to find a moment of genuine peace. We spend so much of our lives as if we are in 'The Hunger Games', racing around and trying to survive - most of the time, modern life does have to be that way. But if you can find an hour, just to sit and think about nothing more than how beautiful a place is, believe me, it really is food for the soul.
So what now ? Well, 'normal' life has been resumed, but I am hoping, when it all gets a little overwhelming, I can think back to when I was sitting on the grass, looking up at the trees and find peace again...thank you for stopping by, I'll see you again soon..until then..as always..
Take care out there xxxx
Having said all that, it does make writing a blog post seem a little trivial, but as the purpose is to share thoughts, I may as well get on with what's been happening in my tiny piece of the world. At the end of last week, we had my daughter's 21st birthday celebration and, as often happens, alongside the traditional hoopla, there was time for quieter moments. For a number of reasons which are far too long to explain fully, we ended up going back to where I spent a lot of my life, especially the part involving being a mother. As you will see from the pictures, we went to some truly beautiful places and as I sat there, so many memories came flooding back. I could almost see my daughters as little girls, running around the trees, feeding the wild birds and just enjoying being in such a magical place. Life did seem a lot simpler then, I think that's true of all parents, when you see the world through your child's eyes - it can make even the most common sight, something filled with wonder.
I was also reminded of my extended family, especially those who some might say 'aren't around any more' - I would fervently disagree with that thought, I feel their presence every day and I am so grateful I can. I do know, some of you will be shaking your heads while thinking I am delusional, that when someone dies, that's the end of them - well, I respect your belief, as I would hope you would mine. Walking by the lake, through the trees, I knew those special people were right there with me, just as they had been, all those years ago.
As I sat in the sunshine, I allowed my mind to wander back to when I was that young mother, what would she think of me now ? If she had known what the future would hold, would she be proud of how 'we' had handled everything? Had I changed so much from how she had been? I have to admit, these were not easy questions to contemplate, but sometimes I think it's healthy to take stock of where you've come from and how it will effect where you go next. So to begin, I'm not sure the 'young me' would be overly-impressed with some of the things that have happened, mistakes have been made with far-reaching consequences, I have hurt people who deserved better from me. Sadly, it's too late, in some cases, to apologise and make amends, but I would hope she would appreciate, I do acknowledge my failings and try hard not to repeat those same errors. Moving on to the second question, I think she would be proud, after all, like most people, life has not always been easy and yet, here I am, still pushing forward - so if tenacity is a virtue then she would be happy. Finally, have I changed ? I would love to say with age has come great wisdom, but sadly, that wouldn't be true - at least, not all the time ! On the plus side, I do feel I am more responsible now, I don't act quite as impulsively as I once did, I consider consequences far more carefully and I love as fiercely as ever. On the negative side, well, there are still way too many times, when I allow people to cross boundaries on how I should be treated - I forgive too easily, accept excuses too readily and, as a result, don't always say what I should. I feel this is a part of me, this need to avoid confrontation and to put my own feelings in second place - or even lower down the scale. I think my younger self would undoubtedly roll her eyes while wishing this was a lesson finally learned.So what conclusion did I come too ? Well, like us all, (unless you have supreme self-confidence), I am a work in progress, but hopefully, heading in the right direction.
So what now ? Well, 'normal' life has been resumed, but I am hoping, when it all gets a little overwhelming, I can think back to when I was sitting on the grass, looking up at the trees and find peace again...thank you for stopping by, I'll see you again soon..until then..as always..
Take care out there xxxx
