Whatever gets you through the day....
Well, my friends, it's a relief to finally have some time to sit down and write to you, I know it's been too long, but things have been a little hectic recently, so I hope you'll forgive me. As regular readers know, I am currently working on my new book, ( my fifth !!!) and I've been asked what the book will be about. Now, obviously I don't really want to give too much away at this point, but one of it's themes is what people rely on to get through life ( good to know the title of this post actually makes sense, don't you think?)
I know there are people who would say, they need nothing, they would describe themselves as 'strong' and can be less than tolerant or sympathetic to those who appear less so - I'm not saying they're being less than honest but I would argue, if it's true, they are in a minority. After all, we all rely on something to make bad days better or to make pain less harsh. How many of us have reached for the ice cream, cake, glass of wine, chocolate etc etc? I would say most of us. Also many will go to the gym and beat the stuffing out of a boxing bag or some other intense physical activity to lose those negative feelings. I don't think there's anything wrong with any of these methods really, if that bowl of chocolate chip ice cream makes you feel better ? Then where's the harm ? Unless of course, it becomes so addictive, it impacts on your every day life too much.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying it's a great idea to indulge yourself all the time - I just think it's something we all do occasionally - especially during tough times. But not all 'escape reality routes' are quite as healthy and this is where the book I'm writing comes in - ( I expect you were wondering where I was going). In 'The Attention Seeker', the main character has a deep-seated need which forces her to a life she could not have imagined. The story explores certain mental health issues which are perhaps extreme, but still remain relevant in the real world - the pursuit of something which makes us feel somehow 'better.
Obviously, when our reliance on one thing becomes overwhelming, we are often at the top of a slippery slope - that occasional cheesecake to cheer ourselves up after a bad day can become daily binge eating, the glass of wine which helps us wind down after a difficult day at work becomes a bottle of wine in the morning just so we can get there in the first place. These might seem extreme, but we all know, they do happen and not just to a few people with 'problems.' I think there are some who have a rather negative, almost superior attitude when they're confronted by someone suffering with any kind of addiction. I have heard someone say, addicts choose to do what they do, so why should they expect to receive help? I was appalled - who would choose a life ruled by addiction? Nobody. Speaking personally, I have always held the belief, those who do rely on a substance to the exclusion of anything else, may well be trying to 'block out' some painful past experience or maybe find basic living an uphill struggle so retreat into their own world. Would anyone deny someone pain relief ? No, of course not ! It's just the kind of relief an addict needs, is never a healthy option and tragically, often has fatal consequences.
We all have something we turn too when times are hard, it's just some of us - the lucky ones - know we are supported, so even if we do eat too much ice cream, we may well be sharing it with a good friend. Perhaps, those who struggle with serious addiction, perhaps they are alone with their negativity, maybe they feel 'unseen' by the wider world and so whatever substance they're abusing, becomes the only thing they have which is a constant in their lives. Far from thinking we are somehow 'better', we need to really understand, our lives could go the same way - ask yourself, if you felt really alone in a life that feels impossible and someone offered you something which could take the pain a way - even for a night - would you take it ? I consider myself quite a strong person, but I accept, if things were bad enough, I would be severely tempted.
Writing this story, more than the other books I've published, has proven to be a very tough experience mainly because, as I've explained, the events are not so far-fetched I could imagine my real life going the way of the main character. I should perhaps add, the story is not all grim and disturbing, much like life, there are high points too - friendship and love are explored with a healthy dose of humour too. It's a complex tale, but even though I'm finding it hard, I do love a challenge and if I can write this story as well as possible - I'll be satisfied (well, almost).
So what gets me through the day ? Well, if we ignore the edible indulgences quietly living in my fridge, I would say, my belief that nothing lasts forever, however bad things are, they will change in the end so you just have to hang on in there. I know that must sound ridiculously simplistic, but it's got me this far, so I don't think I'll look for a more complicated answer.
Enjoy that ice cream, cut another slice of cake or pour another glass of wine, I will happily join you - but as long as we try and remember to stop because that can be the tricky part...as always I look forward to being with you again soon..until then..
Take care out there xx
I know there are people who would say, they need nothing, they would describe themselves as 'strong' and can be less than tolerant or sympathetic to those who appear less so - I'm not saying they're being less than honest but I would argue, if it's true, they are in a minority. After all, we all rely on something to make bad days better or to make pain less harsh. How many of us have reached for the ice cream, cake, glass of wine, chocolate etc etc? I would say most of us. Also many will go to the gym and beat the stuffing out of a boxing bag or some other intense physical activity to lose those negative feelings. I don't think there's anything wrong with any of these methods really, if that bowl of chocolate chip ice cream makes you feel better ? Then where's the harm ? Unless of course, it becomes so addictive, it impacts on your every day life too much.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying it's a great idea to indulge yourself all the time - I just think it's something we all do occasionally - especially during tough times. But not all 'escape reality routes' are quite as healthy and this is where the book I'm writing comes in - ( I expect you were wondering where I was going). In 'The Attention Seeker', the main character has a deep-seated need which forces her to a life she could not have imagined. The story explores certain mental health issues which are perhaps extreme, but still remain relevant in the real world - the pursuit of something which makes us feel somehow 'better.
Obviously, when our reliance on one thing becomes overwhelming, we are often at the top of a slippery slope - that occasional cheesecake to cheer ourselves up after a bad day can become daily binge eating, the glass of wine which helps us wind down after a difficult day at work becomes a bottle of wine in the morning just so we can get there in the first place. These might seem extreme, but we all know, they do happen and not just to a few people with 'problems.' I think there are some who have a rather negative, almost superior attitude when they're confronted by someone suffering with any kind of addiction. I have heard someone say, addicts choose to do what they do, so why should they expect to receive help? I was appalled - who would choose a life ruled by addiction? Nobody. Speaking personally, I have always held the belief, those who do rely on a substance to the exclusion of anything else, may well be trying to 'block out' some painful past experience or maybe find basic living an uphill struggle so retreat into their own world. Would anyone deny someone pain relief ? No, of course not ! It's just the kind of relief an addict needs, is never a healthy option and tragically, often has fatal consequences.
We all have something we turn too when times are hard, it's just some of us - the lucky ones - know we are supported, so even if we do eat too much ice cream, we may well be sharing it with a good friend. Perhaps, those who struggle with serious addiction, perhaps they are alone with their negativity, maybe they feel 'unseen' by the wider world and so whatever substance they're abusing, becomes the only thing they have which is a constant in their lives. Far from thinking we are somehow 'better', we need to really understand, our lives could go the same way - ask yourself, if you felt really alone in a life that feels impossible and someone offered you something which could take the pain a way - even for a night - would you take it ? I consider myself quite a strong person, but I accept, if things were bad enough, I would be severely tempted.
So what gets me through the day ? Well, if we ignore the edible indulgences quietly living in my fridge, I would say, my belief that nothing lasts forever, however bad things are, they will change in the end so you just have to hang on in there. I know that must sound ridiculously simplistic, but it's got me this far, so I don't think I'll look for a more complicated answer.
Enjoy that ice cream, cut another slice of cake or pour another glass of wine, I will happily join you - but as long as we try and remember to stop because that can be the tricky part...as always I look forward to being with you again soon..until then..
Take care out there xx
