A Hesitant Tiptoe Through the World of Gender Identity

Hello Everyone, I hope you're all doing well. Wherever you are, the world seems like a good place to be although even as I type this to you today, there is news of another tragic shooting in the US, a tropical storm wreaked havoc in Trinidad & Tobago- not to mention millions of people struggling to keep food on the table owing to ever-rising prices. But even though all of that is going on, I cling to the hope that you find reasons to smile every day.  Before I go on, I am happy to report after my initial doubts about the release of my novel 'Barefoot on the Grass', it seems to be finding its way which is a relief. I have no real idea what I might have done if it had been a crashing failure but as of today, it is staying afloat in the ocean of fiction.

Actually, it was while I was catching up with other authors, I noticed how many now reference gender identity within their work. Now I know, this is a decidedly tricky subject to address which explains the title of this post but as it is such a part of life now, I wanted to educate myself and bring you along with me.

So to begin with a bit of clarification, it seems my first mistake was to assume 'gender' and 'sex' were the same thing- they are not. Gender is all about who you are to yourself, also it means how society determines what it means to be, for example, a man or woman. Whereas sex refers to biological and physiological characteristics, so that's all about hormones, genitalia etc.

So now with that hopefully a tiny bit clearer, this is where, for me, things get more confusing but I am well aware my ignorance is my problem and so this is why I am attempting to learn more. It seems there is no definitive number of possible gender identities, when I started to read more on the subject, it ranges from 60 to over 100 possibilities It also seems you can identify with more than one, but I'm not sure I am ready for learning about where they might cross over. Speaking for myself, I was surprised to learn I am AFAB, Assigned Female at Birth, which means I personally did not choose to be a female when I was born, someone else decided it for me. Now, I have to confess, I do struggle with this idea - whether it's because of my age or life experience, I can't say for sure but it does seem a strange scenario to picture in my mind. Obviously, my mother was there when I was born, she would have had a doctor, and midwife present, so did they all take a long hard look at me and say, 'well, I know we could say male but how about we call it a female?" I'm assuming they made this decision owing to how my body looked at the time, but supposing they had opted to ignore my physical appearance and decided to assign me as a male? How different my life would have been and undoubtedly infinitely more difficult in many ways.

At this point, I want to make it extremely clear, that I am not making light of anyone who struggles to define themselves in any way.  

Anyway, with a degree of understanding of the very basic definition, we can move forward. So a person's gender identity is not restricted to being either a man or a woman, they can feel as if they don't align with any or feel as if they identify with many different genders. This leads us to gender expression and presentation, which is how a person shows themselves to other people and how they want the world to see them. So, as an example, if you were assigned being female at birth but wanted to present yourself as wholly masculine by using clothing, pronouns, mannerisms etc.

I think once you've understood this concept, it does make it easier to see how there can be quite so many gender identities in society. Having looked through the extremely long lists, I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for anyone trying to find where they feel most comfortable on the spectrum. Some were familiar through reading various news stories but I confess, the majority were completely unknown to me. As an example, omnigender means someone who experiences and possesses all genders which is hard for me to imagine but obviously is someone's reality and should be completely respected.

I have to be honest with you all when you dive into the world of gender identity, it almost immediately becomes very confusing and there is a tiny voice in the back of your head saying, it was so much easier when there were only two. But the question I have to ask is, are we so sure? I mean it wasn't so long ago people had to deny who they were when confronted by a judgemental society. They would adopt the guise of what was considered 'normal' rather than expose their true selves. I cannot pretend I completely understand but I am thoroughly relieved we now live in a world where people can and should be free to be their authentic selves without fear. I would also like to add, gender identity is such a personal thing to discover about yourself it doesn't directly affect anyone else. It's hard enough for anyone to find their place in the world where they feel the most comfortable without having to deal with the often unwanted opinions of others.

Finally, I am well aware I have barely scratched the surface and there is still an incredible amount left to learn. But even if I make mistakes or don't entirely grasp some aspects, I absolutely refuse to join those who mock or parade their ignorance of such an integral part of our community. At the end of the day, whichever way someone identifies, we are ALL human beings and as such deserve a degree of respect and understanding. 

Anyway, as always I think I might have talked too much so ...until next time...

Take care out there xx