The Heart Wants....

Hello Everyone, I hope you’re all well and for those who observed Valentine’s Day, I can only wish you had a wonderful time or, if you were disappointed, please remember the opportunity for love is absolutely NOT  restricted to just one day. But I do know how hard it is to see the stores festooned with giant love hearts, over priced bouquets of roses and those slightly creepy bears with ‘I Wuv U’ embroidered on their bellies. Speaking personally, I think love is infinitely more than  something that can be shown by a hastily purchased gift or a generic card which doesn’t say anything in a way that would be recognisable as being from one specific person. 

Love is a weird business, isn’t it? Most of us may have grown up with the belief it would be like the movies, I remember as a teenager wanting to be swept off my feet or, and this was far more common, being enmeshed in a tragic love story. I don’t believe I’m particularly unusual that my teens were a time of angst, when nobody really understood me or in fact, the enormous depth of my emotions. Oh how I veered from being so desperately ‘in love’ with someone to deciding I wanted nobody and was going to cackle as I left a trail of broken hearts in my wake. Fortunately, I came to realise that much as I knew my own heart was pretty fragile, it meant it was the same for everyone else, so they needed to be treated with care. But, like all of you, there were times when, for whatever reason, the relationship was failing and I knew it was time for it to end. Even now, I still feel having to be the one to say goodbye, is one of the absolute worst moments within any life. For someone who rarely shuts up, I always struggled to find the words which would cause the least pain- but we all know, they don’t exist. So you stand facing each other, feeling intensely awkward which would have seemed completely unlikely when the relationship began and  the words flowed and being close to each other was as natural as breathing. It hurts at the time but then hopefully you look back and realise it was the right decision-probably for you both.

I wonder how many of you have decided, after a particularly difficult breakup, that you’re going to live alone for the rest of your life, possibly with only a huge number of cats to keep you company. I know I have certainly had those kinds of times, when I would repeat to myself that love was for suckers and I was best staying away from it. Despite being sure this was the way forward, as can happen, someone would invariably come along who was impossible to ignore- so yes it is true, love does happen when you least expect it and even more likely, when you’re actively trying to avoid it.

I recently learned the ancient Greeks decided there were no less than eight different types of love, all of which being highly valued and considered essential parts of any human life. Obviously there are whole books about them, which, if you’re interested are pretty easy to find, but to just give you a hint, here they all are -

-Eros ( sexual passion)

-Philia (deep friendship)

-Ludus (playful love)

-Agape (love for everyone)

-Pragma ( long-standing love)

-Philautia (love of the self)

-Storge (family love)

-Mania (obsessive love)

Can you even begin to imagine what a different world it would be if we all had these in our lives? Even half of them would make a major difference especially now, when there seems to be so much negativity, suspicion and mistrust in so many areas of society. And yes, before you say it, I’m aware I sound naive but you have to concede, it would make life so much better. When I looked at the list, I have to confess, I did find myself trying to see if I had personally experienced all of them and to be honest, I’m not sure but there’s still time, right? So maybe one day.

I do believe, in some form or another, we do need love in our lives, it's so much a part of the human experience and even though it can be painful, frustrating and even heart-breaking, perhaps that's a small price to pay for something that can so wonderful, inspiring and joyful.

Anyway, that's more than enough from me, so I'll let you get on with your day, I hope wherever you go or whatever you do, there will be at least one moment, when you're touched by love in some form or another....until the next time...

Take care out there xxxx