Never Can Say Goodbye

 Hello Everyone, here we all are again (hopefully) and already halfway through the week. It has been quite the time in the world, hasn't it? The ongoing, terrible war in Ukraine, decidedly dubious events in almost every government in the Western world, the crippling cost of living crisis, not to mention, here in the UK, we also have various groups of workers striking which means almost every service is being affected. So not exactly a joyous time, but as always, you know, I'm not going to stray into the murky waters of politics. No, as on May 24th a true legend, Tina Turner, passed away and I have to admit, the news knocked me sideways. She has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, I've sung along to her music, watched her perform and been in constant awe. So much has already been written since her passing, it might seem as if there is not much more to say, but I have to disagree. Aside from her music, the well-documented nightmare of her abusive marriage to Ike Turner, there is so much we can all learn from her example- so that's what I'm going to write about today.

Whether you liked her music or not, I do feel you'd have to be almost inhuman not to be impressed with her extraordinary spirit and will to survive. When her career hit a huge slump after the divorce, it might have been tempting to give up her career and just sink into the background. But even when she was basically homeless, she kept working and never stopped believing in herself. How often do we fail to have that kind of resolve? I know I do. When I'm trying to write and it feels like I barely know more than three words, I've wanted to just switch off the laptop and give up completely. But if we don't believe in ourselves, why should anyone else? 

Two of her most famous quotes are:

"My legacy is that I stayed the course, from the beginning to the end, because I believed in something inside of me."

"I believe if you'll just stand up and go, life will open up for you."

Now that she has passed, it's even more important, that we all need to embrace this philosophy and be the best we can be. Now, the more cynical amongst you might be thinking, well, it was easy for her as she was so talented, rich, famous etc but that's patently untrue. As I've already said, there were bleak years in her life after Ike, aside from the lack of a secure home, she was left in debt and facing an uphill battle within the music industry. For many executives at the time, she was 'old news', and for others, she was just too old to be successful again. But her self belief proved them wrong and because she kept working, finally she met the people who could help her get back on her feet and then...well, her life and success surpassed even her wildest dreams.

I honestly believe we are all capable of having success, maybe not in a packed stadium full of fans, but still can be equally memorable. From what might feel like the smallest triumph of baking the perfect cake to going back to education and gaining a degree or even writing a book- if we do them to the best of our ability, this marks a successful life. I do feel far too much emphasis is placed on fame and money as if somehow, getting them means you've 'made it.' I have to disagree! For me, it's about overcoming adversity, and while you do, having small triumphs along the way.

I know it often doesn't feel like it, but our lives are our own responsibility, whether we survive or fall, is down to us. Obviously, things happen that are way beyond our control but how we deal with them, how we respond to every crisis, that's when we have to embrace that Turner spirit and say, 'no, this is not going to be the end for me.'

Now, being someone who deals with diagnosed depression, I am very aware, what I'm suggesting can feel impossible. Only recently, I went into something of a downward spiral myself, where everything felt just 'too much' and I wanted to simply hide away. I didn't respond to anyone with more than a polite sentence and only when there was no obvious escape route. Depending on how you look at it, having lived with this illness for so long is a bonus, as I do know what can happen if I stay down for too long, so I can usually find a way out of the darkness. However, I am very aware that there are many others who are not so fortunate, that even waking up in the morning can feel overwhelming to them. But even in those darkest times, I sincerely hope they can feel some sense of achievement- even if it's being able to do something which feels relatively minor because those small steps can lead to giant strides.

Finally, I began this post saying Tina Turner had been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, but what I should have said, is she will ALWAYS be there. Every time I hear her music, memories flood back, of times singing 'Simply the Best' in a tiny kitchen, to dancing around the room to 'Proud Mary' - the list goes on. But aside from all those amazing songs, when I think of her, I remember what it means to survive, to overcome the odds and find success. So, like the title suggests, I can never say goodbye to her, and in my tiny way, I hope to embrace her spirit and maybe even surprise myself.

I hope you can all find that little piece of 'Tina' within you and together, we will be our own 'best.'

Take very good care xx