When We Spread Ourselves Too Thin

 Hello Everyone, I hope you're all well and managing to get through the week with, at least, a few moments where you can stop, smile and breathe.  Before I go on, for those who might not fully grasp the title of this post as I'm aware it's an English saying, 'spreading yourself too thin' means trying to deal with too many things at the same time. I have to admit, this has been the main problem with my week and so what follows is somewhere between a rant and a despairing cry into the void- you have been warned! But don't worry, it does end well.

So, after updating my Redbubble shop by creating some book-related merchandise, going through the second (or is it third?) edit of the manuscript for the new novel, I turned my attention to social media. Now, for those who don't know, (and why should you?) aside from being present on Facebook, I recently joined Twitter and then from a very dear writer friend, the words TikTok were uttered. Now, I have to admit to considerable reluctance to join, as it seemed to me, to be about people beginning bizarre trends which others follow, interspersed with countless videos of contributors lip-syncing and/or dancing to the latest songs. At first, believing myself to be someone who was unlikely to try and eat any kind of cleaning product, not to mention, knowing that without question, nobody would want to watch me singing along to Rihanna, it didn't seem like a platform for me. But after even the most cursory glance, it turned out that TikTok is a special kind of 'rabbit hole' which if you fall in, there might be no way out.

So, to cut a long story short, I am now the proud (and unnerved) holder of a Tik Tok account, which means, I need to produce content to try and entertain the masses. You'd think it would be relatively easy but I'm here to tell you, it's really quite difficult, particularly when you realise just how much is involved. I am only in the very early stages, but I can easily understand how it could turn into a fulltime occupation. Thanks to the afore-mentioned friend, I could do some preparation, creating some videos before I actually went 'live' but now, here I am, barely 24 hours into the race and already feeling the pressure. Trying to respond to people on three social media platforms is quite a juggling act, as I flip from one to the next, as I really don't like ignoring anyone. Aside from this public side, obviously my real life continues without pausing, so I'm swiftly realising, I need to bring in some structure to my day. As yesterday, I fell into bed far later than normal, well aware I had spent far too long staring at various screens and yet still worried, I may have missed something.

I know I am far from unique in feeling as if I'm trying to keep multiple plates spinning a the same time, especially when there's a house to run, jobs, kids etc. No wonder so many of us walk around, totally exhausted for too much of the time. I appreciate, joining social media platforms is a choice, but when you have work that needs to be seen in the public domain, it's really the only path to follow. To reach readers, I have to engage with the wider world, it's that simple otherwise, I would write and the only people who would ever read my books are close family and friends. I suppose there is an argument, if I stopped writing altogether, life would be easier, but I don't believe that to be true. After all, the rest of my life's responsibilities would still exist, only I'd be doing them feeling chronically unfulfilled.

I'm hoping, when I can get int some kind of rhythm, it will get easier as this is a steep learning curve and I'm only beginning the climb. But stepping away from social media, I think we are all at risk of taking on too much in our lives. Many years ago, there was a strong women's movement about 'having it all', meaning it was undeniably possible to have a successful career, run the home, be a fabulous wife and mother, all this happening while immaculately dressed without a hair out of place. I strongly believe everyone should have the opportunity to strive towards any achievement, but not if it comes at the cost of mental wellbeing. As, at the time, I know many of us felt as if we were somehow failing, as we couldn't reach the impossibly high standards that had been deemed as 'necessary.' Speaking for myself, when I first became a mother, it felt like a personal triumph if I managed to leave the house, wearing matching shoes! But foolishly, I still tried to do it all and quickly lived to regret the choice, as not only did I barely sit down throughout the day, more than once, I found myself doing housework at night. Driven by the mistaken belief, that if every surface wasn't gleaming, I was doing a terrible job. Thankfully, I came to my senses, and realised, what mattered was, spending as much time as possible, just being a mother. Yes, it meant I wasn't running a multi-million-pound company or giving speeches at the UN, but I had many truly wonderful moments, seeing the world through my child's eyes and those experiences mean so much more to me.

I suppose what I'm saying, is when you feel completely overwhelmed by everything, take a break so you can really show yourself some kindness. Just like a car cannot run effectively without fuel, none of us can do very much, when we are exhausted and stressed. I learned that the world doesn't come to an end, if there is a pile of folded washing on the sofa, or a quick and easy meal was made rather than a cordon bleu culinary masterpiece. It's a lesson I hope some of you will take onboard, rather than make the same mistakes I did.

Anyway, that's probably more than enough from me, so I think I'll be taking my own advice, by putting the technology down and just take that moment I mentioned.  I hope you can too, I really believe we will feel so much better....until the next time.

Take very good care out there xx