Brain to Mouth...what was that ?

Hello again, I hope all is well with you, so what’s got me thinking? Well, it’s actually about how you might assume all the various parts of your body work in unison, but, in fact, they are more than capable of working independently of each other..which, when you think about it, isn’t always for the best. Now, obviously, sometimes it is a good thing, after all, if your hand didn’t fly up to protect your face when a kamikaze fly seems hellbent on zipping up your nose – that would be most unpleasant. Equally, when your feet take the decision to race your whole body into the nearest shop when they somehow notice, before you do, that neighbour approaching you – you know the one who will stop and ask how you are before spending the next hour talking about their various ailments, which, in my experience, invariably includes a lengthy description of some bowel disorder. See what I mean? It’s good when your extremities make these choices. But perhaps it only works when there’s some distance between your limbs and your brain – because considering how close my mouth is to that particular organ, there seems to be little co-ordination. Let me explain….

I cannot tell you how many times I have been in the situation when someone has given me a lame excuse as to why they’ve let me down, as they drone on, attempting to justify their behaviour, I can feel my rage surging inside me like a volcano about to erupt, but when they say, ‘I hope you don’t mind’, before my mind has the chance to unleash my fury, I hear my mouth saying, ‘Don’t worry about it, these things happen.’ The person walks away feeling okay about themselves, while my brain almost explodes with all that pent-up frustration and I stomp off down the road, wondering what my mouth had been thinking to let them off!

In a more intimate situation, the same thing happens, you’re lying there, next to a man who has just provided the most limp, lacklustre sex you’ve ever encountered, in fact, the only good part was, while he was feebly attempting to rock your world, you had time to mentally write your shopping list. Yet when he rolls over, looks at you and asks the question, ‘How was it for you?’ Instead of saying, ‘I have been more aroused looking at phallic-shaped vegetables in the supermarket’, once more, you hear your mouth saying, ‘It was amazing.’ He will fall asleep – noisily- convinced he is the greatest lover in the world, while you lie there, wishing you had decided to stay home and watch ‘Fifty Shades’ than spend the night with a man who wouldn’t know how to turn a woman on, if he had a full set of blueprints with instructions.

So why does your mouth do this? Why does it decide- independently of the rest of you- to say things which leaves your whole body screaming, ‘WHAT WAS THAT?’ Could it be, your mouth has an impish streak and sneakily chooses to see just how annoyed the rest of you can get? I suspect not. I think it’s more about our inbuilt need, not to say something, which could either hurt the other person, or be the start of some seriously-unpleasant confrontation. So, in a way, perhaps in these kind of situations, your mouth decides to say the least contentious thing, before our brain really gets going and its forced to speak a torrent of abuse/sarcasm or downright obscenities!

But there are times, when your mouth says exactly the right thing...a friend asked me to help her choose an outfit for a wedding she was attending, so we headed off to the shops. Throughout the journey, she kept insisting she wanted me to tell her the absolute truth as to what I thought of her fashion choices, which, naturally, I promised to do – my brain wisely advising me, I wouldn’t want her to go looking anything less than awesome. I spent the next three hours sitting outside various fitting rooms, waiting for my friend to emerge in her latest choice...which ranged from looking like she had tied herself up in some scarily-pink net curtains to wearing some kind of deckchair. As a friend, I carefully examined each choice and said things like, ‘It’s nice, but I am not sure it shows off your gorgeous figure’, which, seemed like a tactful way to deliver the honest opinion she had requested. However, after some hours, I felt myself starting to hate every shop we entered, even unreasonably hating the shop assistants who kept making suggestions as to other choices of attire. When one approached carrying a staggering amount of dresses for my friend to try, my brain was screaming, ‘WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT????’

Yet still my mouth made comments about the colour, the shape, the design – and in a kind, thoughtful way too. After a further hour, even my mouth was on the point of giving up, so when she came out of the changing room, in a creation I can only assume was made by a worthy team of keen, but colour-blind spiders, I heard myself say, ‘That’s the one!’ As if to add credibility to this statement, the rest of my tired body joined in with finger-pointing, approving nods of the head and all-round approval. My friend looked back at her reflection, clearly not entirely convinced by my performance, somehow sensing this hesitation, my mouth launched into a whole speech about how amazing she was going to look, how insanely jealous the rest of the guests were going to be and, of course, how she would be completely desirable to any man she wanted. On hearing this, she looked again, beamed back at me and consequently bought the dress.

Now, you might think, I had not fulfilled my original promise to be honest, and, in some ways, of course that’s true, but after the big day, I met the friend for lunch. She told me, although she had some initial doubts about the dress, when she arrived at the wedding reception, she remembered how much I had liked it and walked into the room, feeling like a million dollars and had wonderful time – even hooking up with a rather attractive man on the dance floor.

So perhaps, there are occasions when its best, your mouth completely ignores your brain...but not always, in my own life, I can look back with some regret at times, when I wish I had just said how much a person had meant to me, instead of downplaying their importance in my life, I wish I had said ‘Please stay’ instead of allowing my mouth to sarcastically suggest they close the door on their way out...so like all things in life, it’s all about balance, isn’t it? I do wonder if that’s why I write, it’s a way of expressing my genuine thoughts before my mouth says something completely different...who knows?

But I do know, all of me is engaged in wishing you a good week, so until the next time…

Take care out there xx