Who's been sleeping in my bed ?

Good morning everyone, thank you so much for coming back again, I hope you're all well and looking forward to enjoying your weekend. So what's today's topic ? Well, these days, I rarely wake up alone, ( and no I don't mean I have a constant stream of different bed partners, those heady days are many moons ago now, for which, I am extremely thankful). I mean, fun as it undoubtedly was, it's hard to imagine a more awkward situation, where you wake up after a wild night partying, to find yourself in bed with someone you didn't know at all 48 hours ago and yet now you've shared a passionately intimate night. As they sleep soundly, you find yourself glancing across at them, trying to work out how the gorgeous Ian Somerhalder lookalike you tumbled in the sheets with, now appears to have morphed into a man with all the finesse of the average bull elephant- ( ah the cruel deception of wearing tequila glasses !) So while he snores, you decide to sneak away before he wakes up, after all, who wants that awkward, 'shall I call you or do you want to call me ?' After slipping out of the bed, you try to collect your clothes, get dressed and make a run for the door, for some reason, there was ALWAYS something I couldn't find, usually a shoe. So I would often find myself scrabbling about under the bed, gingerly picking my way over his old socks, well-thumbed porn collection and a long-forgotten slice of pizza. Invariably, upon retrieving the rogue footwear, I would rise up in triumph, only to be confronted by my bedmate's bemused expression – thankfully, they were often still half- asleep, so I would mutter something vague about 'needing to get to work' which would result in them collapsing back back on to the bed to sleep. They call it 'the walk of shame', don't they? When you are seen out in the early hours, obviously hungover and equally obviously having spent the night having sex – in my case, it was often more of a ' hobble of shame' as I often abandoned the search for that lost shoe, feeling I would rather look like a seriously-dishevelled Cinderella than face that awkward conversation I mentioned earlier.

Anyway, that's more than enough about my shameful experiences, let's get back to the original point, which was, (if you remember, oh and don't feel bad if you didn't, I almost forgot myself), about my not waking up alone any more. I was fortunate to meet someone very special and even more lucky, despite my obvious flaws, they love me too – at the risk of you reaching for the sick bucket, I know how unbelievably fortunate I am and I don't ever take this blessing for granted. This morning, my partner is away from home and waking up alone has got me thinking hence this post – I can almost hear you rejoicing that I finally got to the point ! On the one hand, to have a huge double bed all to myself is ridiculously pleasurable, I have no shame in admitting, I stretched out like a starfish, hoping my fingers and toes could reach the four corners, before forming a nest out of all the pillows and flopping back in comfort. But after that initial few moments, my lack of partner became abundantly obvious – where was the familiar sleepy smile? The feel of loving arms pulling me close ? I felt a sudden pang of sadness, which is ridiculous, as not only has my partner not gone permanently but, as I write this to you, they are only a couple of hours away !

I have spent literally years getting increasingly exasperated by all those love songs which refer to 'not being able to breathe without you' or ' I will just die if I don't see you' – how often I have often yelled at the radio 'get a grip woman, stop being so needy !' (I say 'woman' as very often it's a Mariah or a Whitney classic). And even though I am currently missing my partner, you might be relieved to hear, I am not at the point of keeling over, clutching my chest, while my lungs struggle to intake oxygen, I am also, (hopefully) a long way from shuffling off my mortal coil. You see, if waking up alone was to be the way things are, I know I would be fine, undoubtedly lonely at times because I do believe humans are meant to have moments of genuine closeness, but I would cope. But the truth is, now I have seen and felt what it is to wake up and feel loved – I much prefer this second option. Although I should add, ( as I don't want to offend my children), even when I was partner-less, I absolutely loved it (not!) when they used to run into my bedroom, jump on me and force me to watch the Saturday morning cartoons, while filling my bed with cookie crumbs – that's a wonderful expression of love too.

Anyway, as I am sure I've mentioned before, I spent a long time, waking up in the wrong place – now, at last, I am in the 'right' bed, even though my partner isn't here, I love the familiarity of the shared sheets. It's no exaggeration to say, I wouldn't be writing to you this morning, if I wasn't surrounded by our belongings – no, I would perhaps be limping home, hoping against hope, I don't bump into anyone I know, while an oft-heard phrase plays on a loop in my head ' I am never drinking again.'

Anyway, a quick glance out of the window, is telling me the day has begun, so time for me to get started and achieve something wonderful or I could just lie back on my pillow heap and just enjoy the moment – no prizes for guessing which I will probably do. Waking up alone does have its bonuses, so if that's what you're doing, don't rush to get up, make the most out of the space and the peace....if you're waking up with your partner ? Well, you don't need me to tell you how to spend the next hour or so. Finally, if you're reading this with a hangover and minus a shoe, well, there's always next time, who knows ? You might wake up with Mr Somerhalder next time...until then..whatever you do...

Take care out there xx