Straws and Camels' Backs....
Hello again...now the title of this particular post might seem a bit weird, but hopefully, by the end, it will make some sense. As some of you might know, recently there has been a great deal of media attention about the tv series 'Thirteen Reasons Why' (based on the book by Jay Asher), not all of it especially positive, but the subject matter has certainly got people talking and - as you can see - bloggers writing too. For those of you who aren't familiar with the basic story, very briefly, I can tell you, it's about a teenager, Hannah Baker, who commits suicide, but not before recording thirteen tapes during which she details those who have caused her so much distress, she is driven to take that final dramatic step. Now, for many people, this series has proved very uncomfortable and so, they have been surprisingly quick to dismiss it, as nothing more than too much teen angst, which is, in my opinion, far from fair. Now I have no intention of setting myself up as some kind of tv critic, so whether the acting is good, bad or indifferent ? Well, I am in no position to judge, but I do feel, if nothing else, this series has made many people stop and think, which can only be a good thing. Some have concluded Hannah made far too much out of a few incidents which occurred and so her decision to end her life, was simply an over-the-top reaction, apparently with the idea everyone who had wronged her 'would be sorry'...but I am not sure this is right. I believe many of us have reached the point, where we feel, if one more thing happens, that will be the thing which pushes us over the edge - the straw that breaks the camel's back....(as an aside, I hope you noticed I managed to explain the title of this post before the end).
In my own life, there have been times when it has felt as if Life was just pushing me too far - an emotion I am sure we have all felt at one time or another. I have been awake many nights, wondering how I am going to find my way through the ever-winding maze of problems I have found myself attempting to solve until, usually at around 3.00 a.m. I just want to stop thinking completely. You see, at the risk of offending anyone, the option of just being able to totally switch off and escape, does seem very appealing - particularly when it does feel as if the issues are just a mountain too high to climb. We must have all felt that awful tiredness, after many sleepless nights, when even the simplest things feel like an overwhelming challenge.
In Hannah's scenario, well, things are slightly different - she clearly feels people around her have done nothing but let her down and, in some cases, do her great harm. So, it's the cumulative effect of people around her, which drive her to such despair - which, I am assuming, is why she leaves the tapes, she wants them to understand her loss of life is ultimately their responsibility. I find this aspect of the story perhaps the hardest to accept, sadly, it's a part of life, people will behave badly - they will be selfish, thoughtless and sometimes downright mean. But it's down to each of us to choose how we will deal with this reality while accepting, we aren't exactly angels ourselves. I also feel we are all ultimately responsible for how our lives work out, so to apportion blame to other people - however awful they are - does seem just a way of not wanting to accept that responsibility. So with that thought, it has to be part of the role as a parent, to make sure you give your children a truthful view of how the world can be, so they can be prepared for when things don't go as well. I also feel, parents need to be approachable, so when something does happen, children feel they have a place to go with their problems - if both sides work together, perhaps solutions can be found.
Actually, this leads neatly on to another aspect of the story, which has proved one of the most contentious, is how the adults are portrayed. Hannah's parents are depicted as especially clueless, with no real knowledge of her friends or her life in general, the school principal seems more concerned about the financial effects of the tragedy when a lawsuit is mentioned. It seems none of those who should have seen Hannah's growing distress were paying attention at all ! I would hope this would not be the case in the 'real' world, but sadly, I am not so sure that's true.
I know, from personal experience, how easy it is, to take what people say on face value, without taking any real time to make sure you're hearing the whole story. Too often someone will say "I'm fine", when, in fact, they are struggling...or they smile and admit nothing more than "I'm just tired," when you comment on how they seem a bit down. I know, because I say those things myself...it somehow seems easier to say something vague than admitting life is proving to be hard, this is further complicated by the idea, 'they have their own problems, so they don't need to hear mine.' So we keep quiet and hope against hope, that nothing else happens which could push us over the edge. One last thought, in this era of rampant communication, you would think we would all be experts in voicing our innermost thoughts, fears and emotions...but, I think, at times,we are no better at doing that, than previous generations so perhaps that's something else to consider.
So as I said earlier, it's not for me to say whether this series is good or bad, but if it makes people think a little more about genuinely communicating with each other, to be a bit more attentive and - most important of all - it makes adults less keen on trivialising the problems of their children...well, then it has achieved something.
Having re-read this post, parts do seem a bit like a review of the series, and that really wasn't my intention...but that's perhaps how it has turned out...just goes to show how easy it is to get waylaid by thoughts and ideas, doesn't it ? But maybe that's why I write this blog..it's a way of talking out loud, so thank you so much for listening....until the next time....
Take care out there xx
In my own life, there have been times when it has felt as if Life was just pushing me too far - an emotion I am sure we have all felt at one time or another. I have been awake many nights, wondering how I am going to find my way through the ever-winding maze of problems I have found myself attempting to solve until, usually at around 3.00 a.m. I just want to stop thinking completely. You see, at the risk of offending anyone, the option of just being able to totally switch off and escape, does seem very appealing - particularly when it does feel as if the issues are just a mountain too high to climb. We must have all felt that awful tiredness, after many sleepless nights, when even the simplest things feel like an overwhelming challenge.
In Hannah's scenario, well, things are slightly different - she clearly feels people around her have done nothing but let her down and, in some cases, do her great harm. So, it's the cumulative effect of people around her, which drive her to such despair - which, I am assuming, is why she leaves the tapes, she wants them to understand her loss of life is ultimately their responsibility. I find this aspect of the story perhaps the hardest to accept, sadly, it's a part of life, people will behave badly - they will be selfish, thoughtless and sometimes downright mean. But it's down to each of us to choose how we will deal with this reality while accepting, we aren't exactly angels ourselves. I also feel we are all ultimately responsible for how our lives work out, so to apportion blame to other people - however awful they are - does seem just a way of not wanting to accept that responsibility. So with that thought, it has to be part of the role as a parent, to make sure you give your children a truthful view of how the world can be, so they can be prepared for when things don't go as well. I also feel, parents need to be approachable, so when something does happen, children feel they have a place to go with their problems - if both sides work together, perhaps solutions can be found.
Actually, this leads neatly on to another aspect of the story, which has proved one of the most contentious, is how the adults are portrayed. Hannah's parents are depicted as especially clueless, with no real knowledge of her friends or her life in general, the school principal seems more concerned about the financial effects of the tragedy when a lawsuit is mentioned. It seems none of those who should have seen Hannah's growing distress were paying attention at all ! I would hope this would not be the case in the 'real' world, but sadly, I am not so sure that's true.
I know, from personal experience, how easy it is, to take what people say on face value, without taking any real time to make sure you're hearing the whole story. Too often someone will say "I'm fine", when, in fact, they are struggling...or they smile and admit nothing more than "I'm just tired," when you comment on how they seem a bit down. I know, because I say those things myself...it somehow seems easier to say something vague than admitting life is proving to be hard, this is further complicated by the idea, 'they have their own problems, so they don't need to hear mine.' So we keep quiet and hope against hope, that nothing else happens which could push us over the edge. One last thought, in this era of rampant communication, you would think we would all be experts in voicing our innermost thoughts, fears and emotions...but, I think, at times,we are no better at doing that, than previous generations so perhaps that's something else to consider.
So as I said earlier, it's not for me to say whether this series is good or bad, but if it makes people think a little more about genuinely communicating with each other, to be a bit more attentive and - most important of all - it makes adults less keen on trivialising the problems of their children...well, then it has achieved something.
Having re-read this post, parts do seem a bit like a review of the series, and that really wasn't my intention...but that's perhaps how it has turned out...just goes to show how easy it is to get waylaid by thoughts and ideas, doesn't it ? But maybe that's why I write this blog..it's a way of talking out loud, so thank you so much for listening....until the next time....
Take care out there xx
