Shouldn't #metoo be for men too ?
Well, my friends, you cannot have failed to hear at least some of the accusations against some powerful men, including film producer, Harvey Weinstein. If even half of those are true, its both shocking and horribly disturbing, that men, who have some kind of 'power' don't seem to have even the slightest qualm about using their position to gain sexual gratification - even if its from non-consenting partners. As perhaps expected, the #metoo movement started, which enabled women from all backgrounds, to share their stories of similar abuse and all of them were as difficult to read as those of the celebrities who came forward. Sadly, it would seem, fame and money are no protection against such predatory men, we can hope this will change, but perhaps not soon enough.
What concerns me, is this idea that all men are equally likely to behave in the same way, which, I genuinely believe is not the case. Furthermore, I have no doubt at all, men suffer sexual abuse from women too and yet there seems to be little or no recognition within society. I have witnessed such incidents in my own life and, on one occasion, the young man concerned was told to 'man up' and 'get a sense of humour'...let me tell you what happened so you can make up your own mind.
I was in a supermarket and as I turned into one aisle, I saw a woman in her 60's attempting to grab a young male assistant as he was carrying a large tray of bread. At first, he smiled and asked her to leave him alone as he could potentially lose his job. The woman persisted, making lewd jokes and being generally offensive, finally, the young man turned away from her, she grabbed his bottom with both hands before attempting to slip her hand inside his trousers. The young man dropped the tray, clearly shocked, by this point, I had seen enough and asked the woman what she thought she was doing. She turned to me and said - loudly - 'copping a feel of the men was one of the perks of shopping and he needed to man up otherwise he would never get a real woman.' I replied with pointing out, she was old enough to be his grandmother - yes, a bitchy comment but frankly she deserved it ! She stomped off down the aisle, threatening to report the young man to the manager, which she obviously did, as then he appeared. Fortunately, as I had witnessed the whole thing, the assistant wasn't in trouble and was praised for his behaviour, he then left to return to his work. While talking with the manager, I was shocked to hear, this kind of incident was not uncommon - it seems certain women have little or no respect for men and see them as nothing more than something they can manhandle whenever they feel the need.
Another example occurred in the workplace, when a senior female manager said - in front of a room full of people - that she was keen to see one of her junior male employees, naked. It turned out, whenever she saw him, she would (her words not mine) 'check out his package to see what he kept in there.' I was later told, the male employee was offered a pay rise if he would do some extra overtime, unwittingly he agreed, only to find himself alone in the office with his boss, who then attempted to seduce him by grabbing at his crotch ! You won't be surprised to hear, he left her employment soon after this incident. Sadly, she felt the need to tell anyone who would listen, that it was him who had attempted to abuse her which may have been believed, had not several other male employees spoken out about her attempts with them.
So although perhaps not quite as talked about, I can say - without question - male employees can be made to feel equally abused but perhaps don't find it so easy to admit. I am not quite sure why, maybe they feel they should be able to 'deal' with unwanted attention and the fact they cannot, reflects badly on their masculinity, I cannot be sure. The only thing I can say with any great certainty, is whatever the gender of the abuser, it still has a profound effect on their victim.
I applaud the #metoo movement, anything which leads to people being safer in the workplace, whether that's a film studio or the local market, has to be a good thing. I also obviously applaud those who have spoken out even though they must have been frightened it might affect their long term career, or worse still, they might have feared they would not be believed and have to face ridicule. But I hope this movement doesn't become exclusively for women, I hope those men who are also treated poorly are made to feel welcome because if some can speak out, it may encourage others.
I think to generalise that all men are the same is just as offensive as saying all women are..it's obviously untrue. I believe if we are genuinely committed to trying to eradicate sexual predators from all areas of life, then we must include the whole population otherwise we risk alienating victims, on no other grounds than their gender, which helps nobody.
I think it might be an ancient Chinese saying that both genders are needed to 'hold up the sky' so should therefore be treated equally, we are perhaps a long way from that happening in many areas of life, but let's hope, sympathy and understanding can apply to all...anyway, until next time..
Take care out there xx
What concerns me, is this idea that all men are equally likely to behave in the same way, which, I genuinely believe is not the case. Furthermore, I have no doubt at all, men suffer sexual abuse from women too and yet there seems to be little or no recognition within society. I have witnessed such incidents in my own life and, on one occasion, the young man concerned was told to 'man up' and 'get a sense of humour'...let me tell you what happened so you can make up your own mind.
I was in a supermarket and as I turned into one aisle, I saw a woman in her 60's attempting to grab a young male assistant as he was carrying a large tray of bread. At first, he smiled and asked her to leave him alone as he could potentially lose his job. The woman persisted, making lewd jokes and being generally offensive, finally, the young man turned away from her, she grabbed his bottom with both hands before attempting to slip her hand inside his trousers. The young man dropped the tray, clearly shocked, by this point, I had seen enough and asked the woman what she thought she was doing. She turned to me and said - loudly - 'copping a feel of the men was one of the perks of shopping and he needed to man up otherwise he would never get a real woman.' I replied with pointing out, she was old enough to be his grandmother - yes, a bitchy comment but frankly she deserved it ! She stomped off down the aisle, threatening to report the young man to the manager, which she obviously did, as then he appeared. Fortunately, as I had witnessed the whole thing, the assistant wasn't in trouble and was praised for his behaviour, he then left to return to his work. While talking with the manager, I was shocked to hear, this kind of incident was not uncommon - it seems certain women have little or no respect for men and see them as nothing more than something they can manhandle whenever they feel the need.
Another example occurred in the workplace, when a senior female manager said - in front of a room full of people - that she was keen to see one of her junior male employees, naked. It turned out, whenever she saw him, she would (her words not mine) 'check out his package to see what he kept in there.' I was later told, the male employee was offered a pay rise if he would do some extra overtime, unwittingly he agreed, only to find himself alone in the office with his boss, who then attempted to seduce him by grabbing at his crotch ! You won't be surprised to hear, he left her employment soon after this incident. Sadly, she felt the need to tell anyone who would listen, that it was him who had attempted to abuse her which may have been believed, had not several other male employees spoken out about her attempts with them.
So although perhaps not quite as talked about, I can say - without question - male employees can be made to feel equally abused but perhaps don't find it so easy to admit. I am not quite sure why, maybe they feel they should be able to 'deal' with unwanted attention and the fact they cannot, reflects badly on their masculinity, I cannot be sure. The only thing I can say with any great certainty, is whatever the gender of the abuser, it still has a profound effect on their victim.
I applaud the #metoo movement, anything which leads to people being safer in the workplace, whether that's a film studio or the local market, has to be a good thing. I also obviously applaud those who have spoken out even though they must have been frightened it might affect their long term career, or worse still, they might have feared they would not be believed and have to face ridicule. But I hope this movement doesn't become exclusively for women, I hope those men who are also treated poorly are made to feel welcome because if some can speak out, it may encourage others.
I think to generalise that all men are the same is just as offensive as saying all women are..it's obviously untrue. I believe if we are genuinely committed to trying to eradicate sexual predators from all areas of life, then we must include the whole population otherwise we risk alienating victims, on no other grounds than their gender, which helps nobody.
I think it might be an ancient Chinese saying that both genders are needed to 'hold up the sky' so should therefore be treated equally, we are perhaps a long way from that happening in many areas of life, but let's hope, sympathy and understanding can apply to all...anyway, until next time..
Take care out there xx
