What are you thinking ?
Hello again, well, it's been a time of when I have thought so often as I've been surrounded by the population around me and thought, ' what are you thinking ?' As an example, I was the object of a rather clumsy attempt to come on to me, when I explained I was married, so therefore the answer was no, my 'assailant' simply replied, 'that's even better.' The conversation continued for a few more minutes - even though I felt I had made my feelings extremely clear without, ( I hoped) causing any offence. However, after a couple more moments of increasingly-unwelcome attention, I was left with little choice but to resort to saying, 'it's never going to to happen', and they left, quite clearly surprised their strategy hadn't worked.Now, I do appreciate for some people, the fact they're married really means little more than the average business arrangement and so still leaves them free to enjoy other people. Now, as always, that's perfectly fine with me, if both people within their relationship feel the same and nobody is getting hurt. But,for me ? Well, marriage means a level of commitment to one person. so having made that promise, well, it means I am off limits and I expect that to be respected. But this person didn't see that at all, perhaps as I was wondering why they didn't take the hint earlier, no doubt, they left feeling I had made a terrible mistake...'what was SHE thinking' probably going round their minds.
The strange thing is, it rarely happens with people younger than myself, yes, they might throw around the odd slightly-flirtatious remark, but it's done with a different mindset completely - as if they are aware of the line and don't feel the need or desire to cross it. So I have started to wonder if sometimes it's an age thing, this whole 'what are you thinking ?' concept especially as I have worked within an environment including the whole spectrum of age and gender, watching a range of behaviour which I know sounds as if I am some kind of wildlife observer, but quite honestly, there are times when I feel exactly like I am on a nature documentary.
I am sure you've seen many examples yourself...like the 'older male'. There is no denying, there is a kind of slightly-older man who is obviously having some problem with the fact he is not as young as he was and so does and says things which result in the 'what are you thinking ?' question being asked. Obviously, there are the cliches of buying a sports car or Harley Davidson bike, but if you look closely, you'll see other signs too. When they are working with younger men, they frequently attempt to carry as much as they can, even though there is a distinct possibility of a heart attack ! I have seen this happen too many times..when confronted ( as they see it), by a younger rival, they will attempt to not only compete but dominate - and insisting despite their obvious discomfort, they could carry twice as much. So to somehow 'prove' their virility, they feel forced to drive faster, lift more and potentially even risk their own health. I want to make it clear, I am not saying this is the case for all men, some seem to glide effortlessly into their older years, knowing their wisdom and worldly- wise humour will always make them attractive, whereas the others ? What are they thinking ? What makes an older man believe wearing certain clothes will defy the ageing process, like jeans with a neat crease with a t-shirt tucked in...something you will almost never see on the twenty-something male!
But it's not just men...oh dear me no...women also suffer from this too...nobody is immune. Now, again, let me state for the record, I am not - in any way - saying, just because the years are rolling by, you have to start changing completely, as an example, turning in your shot glass for a knitting pattern, which in my case, is never going to happen. But I do think, if you find yourself looking in the mirror at yourself in a pink thong with leopard print mini skirt or thinking back to the night before, and hearing yourself say, 'what was I thinking ' - perhaps it's time for a review....
But this isn't restricted to the ageing process, I have also noticed in shops and restaurants, people often bring out the 'what are you thinking' question in me. Very recently, I was in the local supermarket, standing at the fresh meat and fish counter which was groaning under the weight of all the - yes, you've guessed it - meat and fish. Despite this obvious fact, the lady in front of me asked, 'do you have any fish ?', the bemused assistant pointed at the display while replying, 'it's there.' The woman glanced down, for the briefest of moments, I am sure I saw the tiniest flash of embarrassment cross her face, but she opted to ignore it and said, with some impatience, 'obviously I saw those, I am looking for something different.' The assistant politely asked what particular fish she wanted, the woman briefly paused, as I guess she had to think of something that wasn't there. After a few moments, she announced triumphantly 'shark', her moment was not to last long because the assistant explained they did, in fact, have shark steaks in another chiller, so how many would she like ? The customer's face fell slightly on hearing this news, but as there were several other people around, she obviously felt she had to say something, so she asked for four. Now it turns out, shark steaks are really quite big in size and not cheap either, so when the assistant handed over a large package with a sizeable price label, the woman had to take it - she had left herself no choice. But I can imagine when she got home and there was no risk of being either seen or heard, she said 'what was I thinking ?'
So what makes us do it ? Well, as I've explained, I do think some situations spring from our insecurities about what other people will think - so the customer dragged home a huge chunk of shark rather than just admit she'd made a mistake, the man in the creased jeans wants to appear young rather than risking being publicly 'older.' If only we could all worry less about the opinions of others, ( which they probably don't have any way), we would all have fewer 'what was I thinking' moments.
But I have to admit, as I look back on my own life, some of those 'what am I thinking' moments I am so glad I experienced....like getting on a plane to Australia to meet someone I'd only spoken too online who turned out to have a lasting significance I could not have imagined....like those joyous evenings watching trashy movies while eating ice cream straight from the tub....like drinking too many cocktails on a beautiful summer evening with dearly-loved people...like becoming a mother and spending the night just staring at my newborn....so as in all things, nothing is all bad..sometimes risking a 'what am I thinking' moment results in something magical.
Anyway, before you start to question yourself as to why you're reading all this..I had better finish..so I shall wish you more magical moments than embarrassing ones... until next time...
Take care out there xx
The strange thing is, it rarely happens with people younger than myself, yes, they might throw around the odd slightly-flirtatious remark, but it's done with a different mindset completely - as if they are aware of the line and don't feel the need or desire to cross it. So I have started to wonder if sometimes it's an age thing, this whole 'what are you thinking ?' concept especially as I have worked within an environment including the whole spectrum of age and gender, watching a range of behaviour which I know sounds as if I am some kind of wildlife observer, but quite honestly, there are times when I feel exactly like I am on a nature documentary.
I am sure you've seen many examples yourself...like the 'older male'. There is no denying, there is a kind of slightly-older man who is obviously having some problem with the fact he is not as young as he was and so does and says things which result in the 'what are you thinking ?' question being asked. Obviously, there are the cliches of buying a sports car or Harley Davidson bike, but if you look closely, you'll see other signs too. When they are working with younger men, they frequently attempt to carry as much as they can, even though there is a distinct possibility of a heart attack ! I have seen this happen too many times..when confronted ( as they see it), by a younger rival, they will attempt to not only compete but dominate - and insisting despite their obvious discomfort, they could carry twice as much. So to somehow 'prove' their virility, they feel forced to drive faster, lift more and potentially even risk their own health. I want to make it clear, I am not saying this is the case for all men, some seem to glide effortlessly into their older years, knowing their wisdom and worldly- wise humour will always make them attractive, whereas the others ? What are they thinking ? What makes an older man believe wearing certain clothes will defy the ageing process, like jeans with a neat crease with a t-shirt tucked in...something you will almost never see on the twenty-something male!
But it's not just men...oh dear me no...women also suffer from this too...nobody is immune. Now, again, let me state for the record, I am not - in any way - saying, just because the years are rolling by, you have to start changing completely, as an example, turning in your shot glass for a knitting pattern, which in my case, is never going to happen. But I do think, if you find yourself looking in the mirror at yourself in a pink thong with leopard print mini skirt or thinking back to the night before, and hearing yourself say, 'what was I thinking ' - perhaps it's time for a review....
But this isn't restricted to the ageing process, I have also noticed in shops and restaurants, people often bring out the 'what are you thinking' question in me. Very recently, I was in the local supermarket, standing at the fresh meat and fish counter which was groaning under the weight of all the - yes, you've guessed it - meat and fish. Despite this obvious fact, the lady in front of me asked, 'do you have any fish ?', the bemused assistant pointed at the display while replying, 'it's there.' The woman glanced down, for the briefest of moments, I am sure I saw the tiniest flash of embarrassment cross her face, but she opted to ignore it and said, with some impatience, 'obviously I saw those, I am looking for something different.' The assistant politely asked what particular fish she wanted, the woman briefly paused, as I guess she had to think of something that wasn't there. After a few moments, she announced triumphantly 'shark', her moment was not to last long because the assistant explained they did, in fact, have shark steaks in another chiller, so how many would she like ? The customer's face fell slightly on hearing this news, but as there were several other people around, she obviously felt she had to say something, so she asked for four. Now it turns out, shark steaks are really quite big in size and not cheap either, so when the assistant handed over a large package with a sizeable price label, the woman had to take it - she had left herself no choice. But I can imagine when she got home and there was no risk of being either seen or heard, she said 'what was I thinking ?'
So what makes us do it ? Well, as I've explained, I do think some situations spring from our insecurities about what other people will think - so the customer dragged home a huge chunk of shark rather than just admit she'd made a mistake, the man in the creased jeans wants to appear young rather than risking being publicly 'older.' If only we could all worry less about the opinions of others, ( which they probably don't have any way), we would all have fewer 'what was I thinking' moments.
But I have to admit, as I look back on my own life, some of those 'what am I thinking' moments I am so glad I experienced....like getting on a plane to Australia to meet someone I'd only spoken too online who turned out to have a lasting significance I could not have imagined....like those joyous evenings watching trashy movies while eating ice cream straight from the tub....like drinking too many cocktails on a beautiful summer evening with dearly-loved people...like becoming a mother and spending the night just staring at my newborn....so as in all things, nothing is all bad..sometimes risking a 'what am I thinking' moment results in something magical.
Anyway, before you start to question yourself as to why you're reading all this..I had better finish..so I shall wish you more magical moments than embarrassing ones... until next time...
Take care out there xx
