A matter of choice....

Welcome back, you know, this whole Life thing can be quite a challenge, don’t you find? But having thought about it this week, so many things we all experience come down to choice, and not always choices we are consciously making, so turning left or right can alter not only our journey but our whole lives – sadly, not always for the better.

I am not sure I’m explaining this too well, so let me give you a few examples, which will hopefully make things clearer. A few years ago, a very dear friend was out in her car, having a normal kind of day, when another driver crashed into the back of her vehicle. At first, it seemed there were no severe injuries, unfortunately, in a relatively short space of time, my friend began suffering terrible pain which, sadly, has continued, on and off, to this day. Not that she has allowed this to stop her living her life, she has a wonderful partner, great kids, a successful career as an author and is a source of inspiration for many people. But what of the other driver? That fateful day, they made one of those ‘choices’ I mentioned earlier, to text message while driving – if they hadn’t, my friend would not have experienced unimaginable levels of pain. You can’t help but wonder, was that text message so vital, it couldn’t wait until it could be sent at a safer time, than when driving? The choice to be irresponsible was made and someone else is still paying, as an aside, we can only hope they learned something.

But not all of these choices need to result in something so serious, many years ago, a friend often bemoaned the fact she felt overweight. So she would try various diets, with varying levels of success, as she believed, if she lost this weight, she would, in time, meet the man of her dreams. Anyway, after some weeks of eating nothing but green food, or sucking a lemon every morning or spending whole days, consuming nothing more than a lick of a spoon which had been dipped in maple syrup, she just couldn’t take it any more. So after throwing out the diet books, she went to the local pizzeria, no doubt salivating all the way at the prospect of having something real to eat, rather than a tragic collection of leaves any self-respecting bunny would reject. So she bought her pizza and headed for the door, which suddenly swung open, knocking her beloved pepperoni pleasure out of her hands and splattering onto the tiled floor. As she looked down in horror, she heard someone apologising profusely, she glanced up and found herself facing her pizza’s killer. As she described it later, almost as soon as their eyes met, she felt herself smiling, so, throwing caution to the wind, she accepted his invitation to dinner and they were married a year later. Now, if she hadn’t chosen to diet, or more accurately, not diet, she would not have been there that night to meet him. Equally, had he actually gone to the petrol station, his car would not have crawled to a halt, and he would not have needed to ask to use the phone in the restaurant. So you see, in a kind of parallel universe, tonight, she would be home alone, no doubt miserably nibbling on a limp kale leaf while enviously watching Nigella Lawson sexily whipping up a chocolate fondant. Whereas as I write this, she is living with her husband and children on a beautiful Mediterranean island, happy as a clam!

Now, you might say, these are nothing more than mere coincidences, but, I would respectfully disagree, the people concerned made choices, and in the fullness of time, their lives were changed, and also those lives around them.

But what about my own life? When I look back, it often felt as if I had no choice at all. Life just seemed to be way out of my control, so when things happened, I just dealt with them in the best way I could manage, and hoped for the best. But with hindsight, I can see, that attitude, in itself, was a choice, to allow people and events to dictate my path through life. I am not someone who looks back with regrets, for me, the past has gone and none of us can go back and change it. Like you though, I am sure, there are a few moments, I wish I had made other choices, turned right instead of left, because I don’t doubt, some of the harder moments would have been avoided. But, then again, in my case, perhaps if none of those times had happened, I wouldn’t have had the time or the motivation to be sitting here now.

I believe that’s my point, we do have choices, every so often, we reach a crossroads in our lives and we take the decision which road to take. So for my author friend, she could have chosen to allow her accident to restrict her, to devote all her time and energy to maintaining her health, but she took the other path, which even though might have appeared to be more daunting, seemed to hold the possibility of more challenges, which would make her life richer. From her experience, and others, I have now reached the conclusion, if you can just remember you have a choice – even when it seems you don’t – it could help many of us, in time, reach our full potential too...until the next time..

Take care out there xx